The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-26-

Dimitri's P.O.V.

We spent a whole hour talking in the kitchen about useless things with Violet's stupid jokes here and there. Surprisingly, her and Felix get along very well, almost as if they're sharing the same brain cells.

But he had to leave since he says he doesn't want his aunt to worry even more. He called her, but he'll still feel guilty if he doesn't go home. I insisted on coming with him so he doesn't walk alone, but he said it's fine since it's already morning and the sun is slowly rising.

I told him to send me a text or call me as soon as he's home so I know he arrived safely. He didn't yet so I'm still worried.

What if he got scared and he's now having a panic attack somewhere? What if The Shadow got him? What if a car ran him over? What if-

Okay now I just sound like a worried mother. He's a grown adult that can take care of himself. I shouldn't act like just stepping outside will kill him.

Violet is eating some chips at the kitchen table with an annoying smirk, watching me clean the dishes. I don't know what else to do. If I don't keep myself occupied I will lose my mind.

"Worried?" she asks.

"If you know then why bother asking?"

"I want to hear it from you" she points a chip at me and I slap her hand away.

"I am... Maybe... A bit worried" I turn my back towards her so she can't see my red face.

"That wasn't so hard was it?"

I'm blushing from embarrassment. What am I even worried for? Well, Violet doesn't know anything about The Shadow so to her it might seem like I'm in love with Felix or something.

"He's quite cute. Do you like him?"

"What?" I turn around to look at her, confused and surprised at the same time.

Do I like Felix? I like his enthusiasm and his energy, but I don't think it goes that far. At least not in a romantic way. Of course I like him as a friend. Otherwise I wouldn't suffer with him to find out what the hell is happening.

"It's clear he likes you. If you like him too then why not date already?"

"Him? Me?" I point a finger at my chest and she nods.

"Yeah. Can't you tell? When I mentioned him being your boyfriend he turned into a tomato"

"Of course! Because you embarrassed him! And why would he even like me?"

"Don't be modest you sexy bastard! Look at all those muscles!" she grabs my biceps and I roll my eyes.

She knows damn well I don't have any muscles. I'm skinny and even middle school boys seem more masculine than me. If anything, I don't remind people of a bodybuilder, but a homeless dude who hasn't eaten anything in a while.

I've never been too insecure about how I look like. I guess my face seems fine, not a work of art but it's alright. I like my hazel eyes and hair, but that's it. Other than that I don't think there's anything exceptional about me.

In photos, I look like a criminal searching for his next victim and that's why I always tell Violet to cut me out of them before posting something. As long as it's just a picture for us, I don't mind appearing in it.

My passport picture looks more like a mugshot than anything, and I always find a way to search for more flaws.

I also have a slightly chipped tooth that isn't even that visible, but that I always make sure to stare at in the mirror, after a shower, for hours. Thank God it's not one of the front teeth. Otherwise I would have lost my shit.

Luna always tells me that I look fine and that my dimples sure are a bonus to my charming personality, but I've never believed in that much.

"Funny" I say and Violet frowns at me.

"Come on... Are we having this talk again? You look fine"

"I didn't said I don't look fine" I rest my hands against the kitchen cupboard and sigh.

"You're beautiful Dimitri"

I know Violet means it. But she says a lot of things that aren't even true. She's a friend and that's what friends are supposed to do. Tell you that you're funny, attractive even though you're not. Always take your side in a fight even if you're in the wrong.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see my father staring right back at me, and I can only clench my fists against the sink to stop myself from punching my reflection. When I'll be older will I look exactly like him?

It's hard living in a love-hate relationship with myself, but it's not like I have a choice.

At the end of the day, no matter how shitty I think I look, it's still me. The boy that was once a little baby and grew up right in front of my eyes. The one I can always trust, even if anybody else turns their back on me.

"I have to go... Luna wants to go on a date. She's been so busy with her job and what not. It's kind of depressing actually" Violet stands up and I hug her.

"Take care" I watch her tie her shoelaces while she smiles.

"Of course. You too" she opens the door of the apartment, leaving.

And she's gone. I'm alone again. Alone in my living room, ready to overthink everything again.

I look at my phone and see a text from Felix, telling me he's already arrived home. A smile appears on my face and I've never felt more stupid than I do now.

We haven't known each other for a long time. And I'm not someone who believes in love at first sight either. So then why do I feel like this?

Maybe going through traumatic shit brings two people closer. I'm not sure, but either way I should be careful.

There's a part of me that says I shouldn't get too close, that keeps reminding me of what happened the last time I let my guard down.

But there's another part of me that can't wait to open up to someone again. To be vulnerable and to trust someone. To love again.