The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-55-

Dimitri's P.O.V.

Dear Grandma,

I've been well.

I know you were always worried about me not eating enough or being cold because I always loved wearing T-shirts, even in the winter. But I promise I'm eating and taking care of myself just fine.

A lot of things changed.

I got a boyfriend. And he's the most amazing boy ever. His name is Felix and he has black curly hair that I love caressing whenever we cuddle. He hates sweet things and loves lemons. He also smells like cinnamon and biscuits. Basically like home. He's my everything.

I really wish you could've met him. I'm sure you would have loved him as much as I do. Maybe even more.

I got two amazing friends, Violet and Luna, that have always been there next to me no matter what. I can't thank them enough. They've been the ones holding me as I cried. Cried for you. Cried for Harper. Cried for my parents.

My parents. I finally made peace with them. And I also came out as bisexual to them, which took a lot of courage. Surprisingly, they weren't angry, or disappointed. Instead, they seemed interested. In what made me come to this conclusion, in the boy that I love.

But Felix isn't the only boy I loved. I loved Harper too. But sadly, we didn't had enough time together. He was the one that helped me accept myself, that taught me what it's like to love and to yearn for someone. And I never regretted that. And I never will.

Lately, I've been getting more into cooking. Cakes. Cookies. Cupcakes. Anything. Mom even shared a few of your recipes with me and I was happy to try them. Of course they don't turn out as delicious as you used to make them. But it reminds me of childhood and brings me comfort.

I even got a new job! It's at a pizzeria that just opened in town, but it's amazing. Everybody there treats me so nicely and they took their time showing me how to take orders and prepare them. It also took a lot of courage to apply for this job, after being unemployed for so long.

For the first time in my life I can say I'm proud of myself. I really am proud. And I don't feel like punching the mirror everytime I see my reflection. Instead I try to put on a smile and remind myself why I'm still here.

Felix, Luna and Violet encouraged me to go see a therapist, which I refused at first. But then I decided that it's for the best. The first few sessions were a bit awkward and it was difficult to open up but I think I got the hang of it now! I'm determined to really be the best version of myself. For Felix. For Violet and Luna. For me. For you.

Thank you for being there for me my whole childhood. Thank you for feeding me, for holding me in your arms, for reading me good night stories. For showing me the right path. For praying for me every night.

There isn't a day that I don't think of you. But I don't cry anymore. Instead it gives me strength to go on. You never gave up and always continued fighting until the very end.

I'm sorry. For making you worry so many times. For pushing you away sometimes. For not visiting you.

For not being there for your funeral. For not being able to say goodbye properly.

Even so, I love you very much. And I always carry you with me in my heart wherever I go.

And whenever I look up at the sky I think of you.

Thank you for making the sunsets even prettier.

Love,
Dima

——The end ——