The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-32-

Dimitri's P.O.V.

Everything's a mess.

Violet is drunk, of course, singing "Mr Loverman" like she's been through ten heartbreaks, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Luna is clapping, only encouraging her while Sam is also crying. Felix is right next to me on the couch, but he seems spaced out, almost as if he's thinking about something.

His eyes are looking at the ceiling, absent while the music is blasting in the background.

"Are you okay?" I shout in his ear so he can hear me, but he doesn't turn around to look at me.

He just shows me a thumbs up and nods. However, I can't help but be worried. This isn't like him at all.

The felix I know is full of energy, optimistic and excited for no reason. Now, he seems more depressed than ever, like he's not even here at all. Or maybe he refuses to acknowledge he's actually here.

"Do you wanna get some sleep? Maybe you'll feel better?" I suggest and he finally faces me, nodding again.

That's all it takes for me to stand up and grab his hand so we can go to his room. Surprisingly, he doesn't seem to have any problem with walking even though he's drunk out of his mind.

Violet, Luna and Sam don't notice us walking away since they're too busy being dramatic.

As soon as he reaches his room, he falls on his bed and doesn't move at all, making me sigh.

I wish I knew what he was thinking in this moment. Is he sad? Is he worried? Is he stressed? I want to know the answer to all these questions but he's not able to say anything at all.

Then I hear sobbing and I immediately grab his shoulders, making him stand up and look directly at me.

"What's wrong?"

He doesn't answer, but instead cries harder and I hold his face, gently wiping away his tears. Then he rests his head on my chest while I caress his hair and think about what I can do to make him feel better.

Before I can ask him what's wrong again, he suddenly starts humming a familiar tune. And crying hysterically again.

"That... That song..."

"What song?"

He pulls away and wipes his tears before humming the song again and holding my hands tightly.

"The song... With the ship... And the guy that died... He..."

Felix isn't able to finish his sentence because he's crying again. A switch goes off in my head. The familiar humming and his nonsense talking about a ship makes sense.

"My heart will go on? Is that the song?" I ask him and he just nods before hugging me.

"I'm gay and cursed" he shouts at the top of his lungs.

So much for being in the closet.

"It's alright. It's not gonna be like this forever"

"I'm not gonna be gay forever?" he pulls away to look at me and I stutter.

"No... Uh... No... The other thing. The curse" I panic and he throws himself on his bed again, waving his arms and hands around.

"I think I'm drunk"

"At least you're self aware" I look at him while he smiles and sniffs.

At least he's not crying anymore.

"I wanna move to California... Where it's sunny... And there's the sea... And surfers... Maybe I'll become a surfer. What are the chances you get eaten by a shark?" he stands up again, this time with a serious face.

"I think the chances are low..."

"Ah that's good. Imagine being a shark... Or... Oh! A jellyfish! Jellyfishes are so funny and weird. I love them" he laughs and I smile at him.

I need to admit that it's a bit heartwarming hearing him talk about random pointless things. He's probably going to forget all this by tomorrow, but I don't care.

Because I'll remember. And I'm slowly finding out even more about him and what his dreams are. For sure, he's not just a boy haunted by some weird thing that doesn't have any plans for the future.

"Personally, I like whales"

"I thought we were talking about sea animals, not about countries" he seems confused.

I can't help but laugh at his response while he's still lost, not knowing why I find it funny.

"No no... I'm talking about whales. The big blue ones?"

"Ohh! That! Well sorry, I'm a bit tired... I like Scotland though"

"You really need to sleep"

"Do you wanna go to Scotland together? Please? Let's go" he grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

I nod and he suddenly stops, smiling. A proud smile, as if he's just achieved something outstanding, that he's been waiting for his whole life.

Then he falls back on the bed again, this time slowly falling asleep. While watching him, I get lost deep in thoughts. Does he sees us as far as traveling together in the future?

I'm not saying I would mind, not at all. It's just that I'm still unsure of myself and this whole thing, but it's like he has it all planned out already.

Maybe he doesn't and it's just my delusional mind trying to tell me that I'm the problem here. I can't ruin our friendship.

It's a bit stupid how I'm not able to say no to him. Fine, we'll go to Scotland. I'll fucking move with you to California if that's what it takes to be with you. We'll go to the aquarium to see jellyfishes and sharks if that's what you like.

I've never been like this. Usually, I don't give two shits about pleasing other people. But with Felix it's different. And of course, this change is scaring me and making me rethink my whole life.

He doesn't know it, but he has me wrapped around his little finger already.

And it probably is more than just friendship, but I'm still too much of a coward to even admit it to myself. I'd rather live in denial even though my feelings are plain to see.

The way he's sleeping, so carelessly and beautifully, making me wonder if he's actually human and not some fucking angel.

I'm doomed.