Lynx: A Callie Torres Story

36

Jada shot upright in bed when a loud clap of thunder scared her awake. As her eyes started to adjust to the darkness, she scrambled to feel around for her wife. Her hand found Callie's arm and she let out a loud sigh of relief that Callie was still in bed with her.

It had been a rough few nights. Callie got paged almost every night around three or four in the morning. But Jada was glad that her wife was still asleep next to her, as they must've somehow rolled away from each other.

She hadn't been sleeping well at all. With Callie getting paged and these nightmares that begun to plague her sleep. Jada was thankful for the loud clap of thunder that had woken her as she was in the middle of another one of those terrible nightmares. She could never remember them very well either.

Jada wished she could just dream about Callie every time she slept. But she had no idea what was causing these nightmares she was having. She pulled the covers back up to her neck and rolled over to her wife to cuddle her from behind.

Callie had instructed Jada to wake her up anytime she needed her. Feeling guilty, Jada gently tapped on her wife's shoulder. "What's wrong?" she asked quietly, turning over to face Jada. "Another nightmare?"

Jada nodded and Callie was instantly pulling her to her chest. "Jada, I'm here. It's going to be okay."

"I'm sorry for waking you up baby."

In the dim light, she could make out Callie shaking her head. "No, I want you to wake me up."

Callie took her hand and helped Jada relax into her arms. She laid on her back, right against Callie and had nuzzled her head into her wife's neck. Jada always started to relax when Callie held her like this.

"Do you remember anything this time?" Callie asked.

"No," Jada answered quietly, a little frustrated that she couldn't again remember the horrible dream that had her all shaken up.

Callie picked up on the hint of frustration in her voice. "It's okay," she whispered. "I was just curious if there was anything else we should tell Kelly today at our appointment."

Jada's heart melted once again when Callie referred to her counseling appointment as her own as well. Callie had promised that they would tackle this challenge together, and she was with Jada every step of the way.

"Cals, how did I get so lucky with you?" Jada blurted out, not realizing she had said it aloud.

"I ask myself the same thing everyday," Callie replied softly.

Jada turned her head to look at her wife. "But... I'm broken. Like, look at me, I'm such a mess," she let out.

"You are not broken and I don't want to hear you ever say that again," Callie answered softly but sternly. "You are the strongest person I know. And I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are. It's not easy to seek out help," Callie started. "I know it because I was there when I was younger. It's not easy to tell a stranger what you're thinking. What you're doing right now, it's not easy."

Jada tried her best to hold back tears. "I just don't want to go back to the beginning," she rambled.

Callie had now turned on her side to look her wife right in the eyes. "Look at me," she said gently. "You are not going to go back there because you've made progress. And I will be here to help you fight that battle, every minute, and every second of every day if you need me to be."

"But Callie, your life-"

"You are my life."

Jada didn't know what to say to that. Callie continued. "Okay? You are my wife, and you are what's most important to me. Everything else can wait."

Jada pressed a teary kiss to Callie's lips, covering her wife's face in tears as well. Callie gently wiped away Jada's tears, before doing the same to what had been transferred over to her.

"I love you," Jada whispered. "And some days I just wish I wasn't here, but I always think about what you told me. Calliope, you're the only reason I'm fighting this fight because you are worth fighting this hard for."

"I love you too," Callie replied quietly, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to Jada's lips. "And I think it would be a good idea to make an appointment with our doctor today."

Jada nodded. "I think I need to have my medicine adjusted."

Callie nodded as well. "We're going to get this figured out," she reassured her wife. "And I'm not going anywhere until we do."

Jada looked at Callie with a confused look on her face. "I took time off from work," she admitted.

"Calliope-"

Callie shook her head. "I'm not going back until after the holidays. I know, I didn't talk to you before deciding this. I think it goes without saying that we both know you wouldn't let me do this. But I can feel that you've been struggling, a lot more than you tell me. And I'm not leaving your side until we get this figured out."

"Callie..." Jada crushed her wife in a hug. "Thank you Calliope."

Jada could tell that wasn't the response Callie was expecting. And it wasn't the one she expected to give. She began to look forward to having Callie around all the time. She did struggle with her wife's changing schedule, and found herself missing her often when they were apart. Jada was optimistic. What if Callie being even more by her side like this was what she needed?

"What did you tell them?" Jada asked.

"I told them that you were going through a rough time and that I was going to be with you."

"And they were okay with that?"

Callie smiled. "I mean, I do pretty much sorta own part of the place."

"Baby, you are something else."

"Is that a good or a bad something else?"

Jada took a moment to think. "I think that means that I'm happy to have the love of my life around all the time again."

"I could just retire."

"No!" Jada protested with a smile as she moved to tickle Callie's sides. "People need you. They need Dr. Torres and they need Lynx."

"Being retired does seem pretty nice."

"Not happening Calliope. There's so many more people than just me who need you."

"But we could just get right to starting a little family of ours," Callie suggested. "And not have to worry about our jobs."

"Woah, slow down there baby. Let's have the wedding first. And then we can talk about kids."

Callie nodded. "That's a deal."

They shook on it.

"I love you so much Calliope Torres."

"And I love you so much Jada Torres."