𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 - 𝐝.𝐦.

𝟏𝟎𝟒 - 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩

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hi guys :)

i reread the last like 31 chapters and just felt inspired to write another one. more in my note at the end. for now, enjoy, and let me know what you think. even as the author i had to read all that to remember everything that was going on and everything that i had planned, so i honestly don't expect anyone to remember everything where it left off

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AUGUST 1st, 1997

I lay in bed somewhere in between sleep and wake, wondering if it were possible for me to stay in that state forever.

It's peaceful. I'm not so deep in sleep that the nightmares could wrap their arms around me and hold me captive for hours, nor am I awake enough to face the nightmares of my reality. I exist in a honey-like haze, able to convince myself that I live in a life different from my own. Perhaps I am back in France where I will soon be greeted by a lovely pastry for breakfast. Perhaps I am even in Hogwarts, just a regular student who needs to get ready for class soon.

Deep down, I know that once I pull these covers away, blurry sunlight will come streaming through my window and pierce my decaying eyes like a knife. It will force me to remember all that has happened and all that is still to come.

But before I even stir, I am roused from my blissful state by the feeling of a light weight pressing on my leg. I frown, and this very first muscle movement since waking is enough to snap me out of the stupor.

"Cheeky..." I groan, slowly pushing the heavy duvet off of myself. I shield myself from the light with squinting eyes and one hand, the other patting aimlessly at my bedside table until I find my glasses.

When I slip them on, my purring, fat feline comes into focus. He stares at me for a few seconds before licking his paw which is placed so possessively over my covered ankle. I smile very slightly — my muscles are stiff and would rather not move — as his purring continues.

And then I close my eyes, allowing myself a few more moments of rest before I'll make myself get up. I inhale deep and exhale slowly, feeling my muscles relax as much as they can. Even so, they remain a bit stiff, tensed, as though my body knows to remain on guard for whatever danger or peril is waiting around the corner. I move my fingers slowly until they don't feel so stiff, cracking my knuckles and wincing with each resounding noise.

With each passing day, I feel weaker and weaker. It is worst in the morning when I have been sedentary for hours. After breakfast, I feel some strength come back to me, enough to pretend that I haven't been noticing change. Then, at the end of the night, I am so exhausted that I hardly need Sleeping Draught to help me fall asleep. The nightmares have certainly visited me, but there have been nights where my exhaustion has been so severe that it seems my own mind chooses to take pity on me.