thoughts & feelings

work out

i know this probably wont work out
itll get messier
the longer we leave it
like this, but it works now
and that should be what matters
but i dont want to lose my closest friend
just because the romantic in my head
sees 'friend' and 'lover' as one thing intertwined
the want and need for my arms to wrap around your shoulders
and drape down to your waist
or the feeling in my chest
when my phone lights up, and your name is there
probably with something stupid, meaningless,
but if its from you it means the universe and more

surely we can find a way to work out?
there must be something we can do
ill find hold you,

let myself feel what im so scared to feel
because if you were here
there wouldnt be anything to hold me back
i might be able to tell you
how i feel
but instead,
words form themselves into phrases
and settle to stay in a note
that you might never see
but i think im okay with that

id rather long for you in secret,
than ruin what we have
in the fear that we wouldnt work out