thoughts & feelings

sun machine

ive got a sun machine in my pocket
of all the things that cheer me up
keep me safe
kept in a tiny box
to help regulate
me and my emotions

when it starts to rain i open it
distract the heavens;
send them elsewhere
only for them to come back later in the day
pouring harder than before

then late at night
when the stars should be shining
and the sun machine is tucked away
grey clouds form across the skies
i try to send them away
but they dont go
they stay put, threatening to rain
they dont always pour down;
sometimes they're simply grey clouds forming and circling around the sky
i can deal with them better that way
and if i sleep, they're gone by morning

but sometimes, they pour down
light at first,
a small drizzle
i hope it ends soon
but then it rains heavier
until its pouring down ontop of me
and i cant stop it
and the sun machine no longer works.