thoughts & feelings

4am

ive woken up, its 4am
im paralysed here, yet again
my mind is so awake, but my body is still
lying in a bed of concrete, staring blankly at the ceiling
trying desperately to move anything, anything at all
seeing the darkness begin to move
well that's not real, right?
closing my eyes in hopes they wont see me
it works better that way
and forcing myself to drift off to sleep again
only to awaken mere hours later
remembering who was visiting
and going to sleep the following night
prepared to follow through with the same events yet again