Use Me, Darling

Part 20

As Tay woke back up, Vegas wasn't anywhere to find. At least he wasn't in his bed anymore and held him. Carefully Tay got back up. He had done it again. He had slept again, with the one man that he shouldn't sleep with. He couldn't help himself, his touch was addicting. He made him feel like no one else, let him discover things that he had no clue were trapped down deep inside of him. A sight of frustration left his mouth, he needed to make a decision. He could continue to see Vegas, further dive down into that world and enjoy his abilities. Or he could tell him off. Push him away and never see him again. Maybe his mind would be at east, but honestly there was nearly no benefit of staying away from him. He was safe and he wouldn't betray Kinn, however he would be alone again. He would crave touch at some point and wouldn't be able to hold up against Time like e had done the last couple of days. No one needed to know that he was seeing Vegas. If no one found out he was seeing Vegas, he could continue to do so, till he had found some else for him, that would be better. If Kinn wasn't a variable in this calculation, then he would agree without any second doubt. "Good boy, what are you think so hard about?" Tay had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realis that Vegas had come back to him, till Vegas wrapped his arms around him. Again, he just let a sight escape as he relaxed into his arms. He really couldn't miss the warmth that Vegas was giving him. "I... I don't know what I am supposed to do." He didn't want to admit to Vegas how much he actually craved him. Not if he hadn't decided fully, if he wanted to give in. "You don't need to know. We could just enjoy the moment together. Just live in the day." He gently kissed his temple. But Tay's mind didn't stop spinning. How could he settle? How could he rest in his arms, when his best friend was his enemy? Tears made their way down his checks. "How can I just live in the day? How can I do with you? I am a traitor. Kinn is my best friend, he always told me to stay away from you. To keep my distant. I even promised him to do so and what do I do now? I lay in your arms. Let you fuck me twice already. How am I supposed to see him again? To look into his eyes and smile? I am just a terrible person. A traitor and lair that cannot be trusted..." A loud sob interrupted his flow of words. He couldn't help himself but to whine and cry, to sob out loud and to dive deeper and deeper in his sadness. "Tay, stop... Don't do that to yourself." Vegas desperately tried to calm down the shaking boy. But he didn't seem to be able to stop. The last day had been one of the best days Tay had experienced in the last couple of years. He didn't waste a thought onto Kinn and Time, onto his family in general. He didn't had the energy to do so. But now as he slowly recovered, he felt even worst then before. Vegas had been of great help for him and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to push him away now, that he had given him so much comfort, warmth and pleasure. Even now, that he just laid in his arms and let Vegas wipe his tears he felt bad. "Kinn is my best friend, how can I do something like this to my best friend." He sobbed again clinging deeper into Vegas' shirt. "Vegas how am I supposed to face him now. Just because I couldn't keep myself together and needed to sleep with you, like a useless whore." "Don't you dare call yourself that. If one of us is a whore, then it is me. I convinced you to do. If this all is anyone's fault, then it is mine. Please stop blaming yourself and stop thinking about Kinn. I don't give a fuck about him and so should you..." "Of course, you don't give a fuck about him." Tay interrupted him, "You and Kinn hate each other, but he is my best friend Vegas. He is my fucking my best friend." Tay's voiced shacked in anger and sadness. "Can you not understand that he is my best friend? And that you don't do something like that to him." "Shouldn't your best friend wants you to be happy? You are right I don't understand. I don't have any friends, especially no best friend, but I know that your best friend is supposed to support your happiness, will you be happy if things go back to the way they were before? No, you won't and if I am the one that makes you happy right now, then Kinn should support that. Otherwise, he isn't a friend." Vegas eyes burned themselves into Tay's. His eyes were red and there were still tears falling from them. "You should do what makes you happy, not what everyone else is requiring you to do." Vegas found himself ironic. He himself, always did whatever his father told him. He always did what he thought would be best to annoy Kinn and would beat the main family. He never did what brought happiness to him. No, he thought that doing whatever he could to make the main family fall, would bring him happiness. But now that he held the crying Tay like that. Wrapped him into his arms and didn't let go of him, even if he tried to push him away. "I can't how is this betraying my best Friend supposed to bring me anything else then guilt. Please leave. I need to think." "Tay don't push me away. I am begging you." Tay escaped Vegas' grip and got up from his bed. "Please go Vegas. I don't want to argue with you. Please don't do it to me." More tears were rolling as Tay pointed to the door with head down. "I am going to wait for you. I don't want to forget about you. But if this is what you want, then I will go and give you your space." Vegas voice sound shaky, as if he needed to pull himself together not to break out at any second. He stopped on last time in front of Tay, in hope he would ask him to stay, but his finger just further pointed to the door, making him understand that he needed to leave. As the door had made its closing sound Tay collapsed to the flour, loudly crying out. Whining and sobbing brutally into his carpet. He was a terrible human being and even worst friend. He didn't deserve Kinn. He didn't deserve him as his best friend.

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I have planned to do a little christmas surprise for you guys, on the 24th I will upload a couple chapteres and on the next two days one each. 

If you don't know, I have around twice as much on my laptop then i have uploaded here, so no worries, there is still a lot to come. 

Your Wiwi. Xx