Stand By Me - Leah Williamson

She Shouldn't Love Me

After I had calmed Alessia down, we left the bathroom being met by Leah who was sat against the wall, seemingly in some sort of deep thought process as it took her a few seconds to notice our presence, then she quickly stood up, handing me a key.

"You and Alessia are roomed together, I told Sarina I'd give you the key," she explained. 

"Okay, thanks," I said, my voice sounding tired and worn down. 

"Shall I show you guys your room?"

"That would be great Le," I took Alessia's hand once again and followed Leah down the corridor until she stopped outside of a room.

"Here it is, I'm right next door if you need anything."

"Thanks," I replied, opening the door and closing it after Alessia had walked in, it would have been polite to invite Leah in, but it wasn't the right time. 

"Sleep Less, I'll bring you up dinner."

I was just met with a nod as Alessia climbed under the duvet, clearly exhausted. 

Going to open the door I was stopped by Alessia, "Where are you going Kam?" her words were panicked, it pained my heart, this is what I had caused. 

"I'm just going to find Leah, don't worry I'll be back," I reassured her. 

Alessia nodded and laid back down, the tension seeming to instantly leave her body, the second her head hit the pillow. Quietly, I opened the door and left, huffing quietly as I walked into the corridor. 

I was totally stuck, I didn't know what to do with Alessia anymore because nothing I said was going to make this better, but I hoped after a rest and a couple of hours to herself, she would have a clearer head. 

Knocking on Leah's door, I met her with a small smile, it wasn't a happy smile, but that seemed impossible in those moments. 

"Georgia's in there," Leah explained, "Want to walk outside?"

I just nodded, words seeming risky in those moments, like they'd all just fall out and I'd crumble to the ground. 

Leah took my hand, leading me to the gardens, putting me at ease, "What happened in there?" She asked, worried expressions covering her face, "Looked pretty rough."

I shook my head, tears welling in my eyes again, "I can't explain it all again, I had this conversation once today and that was enough for a lifetime."

Leah took me by my shoulders, me now being forced to face her, her eyes staring into mine, "You don't have to explain everything, just tell me what you want to."

She was always so understanding, she would forever have the perfect responses in every situation. I don't know how she did it.

Taking a firm, but somehow still gentle grip of me, she pulled us both down to the ground so that we were both sitting. 

"Don't worry," she reassured me quietly, "no one comes out here, no one will see you."

I nodded, "I just feel like I hurt everyone that I love," I explained, tears pouring down my face and my breathing unsettled.

"You don't hurt people Kam."

"No, but I do. Did you not see Alessia? That was all because of me."

"But you didn't mean to Kameron, you didn't do it to hurt her."

"Leah, I broke Alessia. I don't think you understand that, this girl always has a positive response for everything. You saw her just now."

She just nodded, knowing that nothing she said could change what just happened.