Stand By Me - Leah Williamson

Taking This As A Positive

Leah's POV

I drove back to my house. Hating every mile more and more, knowing the distance between Kameron and I was only growing, but eventually as always I quickly learnt to accept it.

We'd done this countless times before, we'd even grown up doing this, but it still always hurt because obviously I hated being parted from Kameron, it meant I never got to see her smile or hear her laugh. I couldn't hold her in my arms as I fell asleep and I couldn't protect her at every hour of the day. Her presence was like the sun to me and without her here it was like a never ending winter. 

I also, deep down, had a fear I wouldn't see her again. It was a stream of thoughts that always loomed over me, never quite disappearing. With time it had gotten better but it would never be truly gone, I'd always hold that hollowing image in my mind, her head lulling in my lap as I frantically had searched for a pulse but never finding one. And if it happened again, I wouldn't be there to find her. What if someone didn't find her in time? What if there were no flights to get to her? What if no one knew what to do if she had an episode?

Obviously Kameron wasn't an inconvenience or a problem in any form, but it was difficult to have so much distance in-between us when sometimes I felt like I couldn't trust anyone to look after her, like no one knew her in the same ways I did. And if someone messed up, I'd never be able to forgive them, nor myself. 

I anxiously tapped my fingers against the steering wheel, trying to distract myself with some sort of tune, even beginning to nod my head a little. But nothing worked, nothing would tear my mind away from the absence in my passenger seat, the silence that filled the car which had once been filled with her little laughs and random thoughts, I'd so miss hearing.

Any friends, couples or pairings hates being apart from each other, it's a natural human response, but Kameron and I being separated was painful for the both of us, it was against every instinct and bone in our bodies and minds. We were two souls that were made for each other, to forever be together so this was a living nightmare. 

I'd even miss that little puppy I'd once found almost comedic as he was so small and un-dog like. Ringo had grown on me, I hated to admit that but Kameron had assured me he would and I'd denied it saying small and fluffy dogs weren't my thing. They were too much like teddy bears. But it turns out that when I'd signed the deal of loving Kameron, all those lifetimes ago, I'd also signed the deal of falling in love with everything she loved. So I'd miss Ringo's constant happiness, or the way he'd snuggle into my lap and sleep, more that I'd ever have expected. 

With every bad thought, I just tried reminding myself that I'd see Kameron in two weeks, maybe not in the most favorable of circumstances, but I'd still see her and to be fair, I'd be with her the entire match. Of course, she wasn't on my team like I'd always thought she would be and I was defending against her, but at least we were both in the same place.
And then in three weeks she'd be home; with me, with Arsenal and with everyone else she loved. We'd never have to go through the torture of that airport goodbye again and I'd have my girl back by my side forever. 

I tried taking this as a positive, I had three weeks to sort out the house and make it perfect and have everything there which she loved. So, I had quite a job on my hands as I'd never had a reason to finish the house, but I now did because when she came home, I wanted it to be everything she'd ever dreamed of. I wanted her to step foot in that front door and know that this was our forever, this is the place where we'd start our family, bring home puppies and everything in-between. 

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Kameron's POV

I'd arrived in Barcelona a few hours ago.

Luckily I'd only had to worry about getting myself and Ringo off of the plane, staff had done the rest for me. Still, as I walked down the metal stairs attached to the plane, I'd felt my legs shaking and the brightness blinding my teary eyes, any responsibility being far too overwhelming right now.

Lucy and Keira had thankfully been there to pick me up, immediately pulling me into a hug when they saw me, rubbing my back and dragging my bags into the car. 

Keira had driven and then Lucy sat in the back with Ringo and I. 

"How was England?" Keira asked me, looking us the two of us in the mirror. 

"It was great," I nodded, "Spent Christmas with Leah."

"I know, we saw all the posts," Lucy chuckled, "Amanda went mad."

"She does love to take a picture," I agreed, "I saw all the Arsenal girls as well which was nice."

"Yeah," Keira quietly nodded, seeing that I wasn't quite in the right mood to expand on anything. I'd realized that in a way, looking back on good memories is more painful that looking back on the bad. 

"I'm moving in with Leah when I get back to England," I told them, trying to smile.

"That's great Kam!" Lucy patted me on the back, "She showed me the new house, it's amazing."

"It's pretty perfect."

As we drove through Barcelona, I was always stunned by some of the beauty which the city hosted and honestly everything was pretty perfect here. The club had welcomed me in, the support from the fans was insane, all my friends here were amazing and it was a beautiful city. But somehow all of those things would never beat the comfort of North London and the most important thing in my whole universe; Leah. 

Maybe when I returned back to England I would have to wave goodbye to my tan, eating ice cream all of the time and the sell out stadiums for every match. But I'd be reunited with my team, my person and my home, so maybe I'd miss Barcelona but it would never equate to the feeling of when I missed home in North London.