A Saint To A Sinner

2.18

Finan continued to shove Y/N forward until they reached an alleyway. A confused look on Y/Ns face, as she watched Finan unbuckle his breeches.
"And why did you need me?" Y/N said, as she watched Finan pull out his cock.
"I wanted to talk to yu properly. Without everyone listening in." Finan said as he faced the wall, trying to concentrate.
"I know I and Sihtric have hurt yu real bad this time. And I am sorry." Finan looked back at her, and she laughed.
"What?!"
"Fin. Who does an apology while taking a piss." Y/N laughed before looking back at him. "Why are you still going?"
"I told yu I needed a piss. I wasn't joking." Y/N smiled to herself, looking back at those who passed by.
"That's not what hurts Fin. It's the fact he lied to my face, and you let him." Finan shuffled in front of her, opening his cloak to hide. Finan clicked his head, telling her to do the same. Y/N did the same and pulled down her breaches, looking at Finans back, silently.
"Y/N." Finan sighed, trying to find the right words. "A lot has happened. A lot. Skade has affected all of us in different ways. She is destroying all of us, including our marriage." Finan stopped when he heard someone come down the alleyways.
"Nothing to see her. Keep moving." Finan growled. "Yu never seen a woman take a shit before. Keep moving." Y/N almost howled in laughter at Finans gruff voice.
"You were saying." Y/N said as she rearranged herself, looking at Finan, who glared at the end of the street.
"Sihtric is fearful. He believes we are all cursed, and he fears yu will be taken from us again." Finan grabbed her hand to stop her from walking off. "I know he doubts that yu've lifted the curse, but don't blame him for that. Blame him for lying, but don't blame him for having doubts." Y/N pressed her forehead against his.

She knew deep down that Finan was trying to make things right with what they had. That Finan would do anything to see her happy. Y/N knew that Skade was destroying every bond and relationship that she saw, including hers. Of course, she never blamed Sihtric for having doubts. Sihtric had seen things and experienced them when he was with Kjartan, but for Y/N, it was the way he could lie so easily to her. It was the way he shouted at her in front of everyone. It was the way his eyes blamed her.
"I hate it, Finan." Finan embraced her as she cried into his arms.
"I can't live like this. Finan, I can't live with the pain. The pain of losing the child. The pain of hurting you. And Sihtric." Finan shushed her. Promising he would make it right.
"Let's go and eat some good good. Alright? And then we'll talk." Finan wiped her eyes as he placed a kiss on her nose.

When they approached Uhtred, food was already surrounding the table. Sihtric handed her a plate that he had already filled with food. Y/N took the plate from him and quietly ate. Every so often, she would look between Sihtric and Finan, trying to find a way to tell them she wanted to return to Cookham. In her heart, she knew it was the wrong decision. That her husbands needed her beside them. That she should suffer a little while longer, as they did for her, to keep her safe.
"An approximation to a witan has gathered. The outlaws are required." Lord Sigebriht spoke. Preventing her from bringing up the topic. She was almost relieved when she did not have to speak of it.
"What is an approximation to a witan?" Sihtric asked, looking at Y/N and Finan.
"It's almost a witan but not quite." Finan said, still confusing Sihtric of what it was.
"He means not all members of the council are present. Only those of important." Y/N said. Following behind Finan. Sihtric hummed in response at her answer.

Y/N placed herself quietly in between Sihtric and Finan. Listening to the Lady Æthelflaed's speech on her ambush at Wincelcumb, which was rebuked because of Uhtreds involvement. It amused Y/N at how interested every body was in Uhtreds life and what he was up to. Making it easy for them all to blame Uhtred for the Lady Æthelflaed's assault.
"Then let us get to the truth of the matter." Alfred finally approached. His face was pale, and his eyes were darkened with sickness. Y/N looked at Finan, who noticed Alfred's condition, too. The man wouldn't last another winter.
"Let us ask why Uhtred is exactly here." Alfred said, approaching Uhtred slowly. "What do you have to say to me?"
"I wish to speak to you alone, Lord." Uhtred begged.
"This is a witan. What you have to say affects all of us." Æthlered interrupted Alfred, causing Uhtred to stammer, as he explained Hæstens intentions.
"What is it you want, Uhtred?" Alfred asked. Y/N looked at Finan, who avoided her gaze. She knew that look. Uhtred wanted an army.
"I want one thousand men, and I will give you Beamfleot." Y/N scratched her head as she watched Uhtred bargain, and for what, she had yet to find out. "I will give you peace. I will defeat Hæsten. I will prevent him from joining the Earls Cnut and Bloodhair."
"Not forgetting the Earl Ragnar." Alfred interrupted, but Uhtred spoke quickly. Informing Alfred of the death of his brother.
"With Hæsten defeated and Ragnar gone, the Danes will have half the army and no leader. To prevent a great war, you must attack Hæsten." Y/N sighed, knowing she was going straight back to battle once the witan was over.