A Saint To A Sinner

3.13

When they reached Uhtred, Y/N and Sihtric noticed something was wrong when they got there.
"Let's move now." Finan shouted as he almost ran towards them. Sihtric and Y/N looked at each other with an amused expression. They both knew the answer.
"Do tell, Finan." Y/N said with humour as she slid forward, allowing Finan to slide on the horse behind her. Finan rubbed her thighs before he let out a heavy sigh.
"Tell me something good will yu." Finan said as he kissed her cheek, making the two of them laugh.
"Y/N threatened Uhtreds men into staying!" Finan looked behind him at the two men who stayed at the back.
"I can see that." Sihtric laughed at Finans words, "how badly did yu threaten them?!" Y/N rolled her eyes. Ignoring his question as she looked back at Finan.
"Your turn." Y/N said as she looked at Sihtric, both really wanted to know what happened.
"That boy is really pushing it. If he so mentions, one of us is a bad father..."Finan said with a grunt. Y/N gently rubbed his hands as she watched Uhtred climb onto his horse and lead them down the mountains into the forest.

They travelled for a day until they reached a river, deciding it was best for the horses to rest and to properly feed the men. Y/N climbed down and helped Osferth set up a spot to make the fire when Y/N saw Uhtred walk off. She looked at Osferth and shook his head. She knew Uhtred was grieving, but it was like he gave up on survival.
"He needs time." Y/N whispered as she placed down the furs.
"He told Finan to lead." Osferth whispered as he looked over to Finan, who was sharpening his sword. "There was an argument. Between them, just before you arrived." Y/N sighed at Osferths words. They were all incredibly tense. Y/N looked back over at Finan and decided to go and sit with him to see if she could lighten his mood.
"You know, Sihtric handed me over as a whore." She jested but Finan ignored her and continued to sharpen his sword.
"Hey!" Y/N sat down cross-legged beside him as she watched him. She could see the frustration in his eyes.
"Talk to me." She whispered as she reached for his wrist.
"Uhtred is doing his best as a father, and all he does is throw it back in his face." Y/N nodded at Finan. She agreed, Young Uhtred was not forgiving towards his father, nor any of them.
"I'm sick and tired of listening to his complaints. Like he knows what it's like being a father." Finan breathed in before he continued. "It's bad enough. I hate leaving our son in the hands of Æthelflaed." Y/N looked at him softly. She didn't realise how much it had been bothering him. She wished she could take away his anger.
"I just hope Cynlæf doesn't hate me when we go back." Finan whispered. Y/N kissed his knuckles gently as she wiped the dirt from them.

Her eyes looked over to Young Uhtred as she watched him pray before looking back to Finan. She hated seeing him angry, and she hated him, holding it in.
"Do not hold your anger in-" Y/N stopped when she heard Uhtred shout at his son. Her hand went to Finans' thigh when he spoke.
"Fin! Urg!" Finan got up and walked over to Young Uhtred. "That's not what I meant." She muttered as she walked over to Sihtric and Osferth.
"Let him. He needs to hear it. He is not a child anymore." Sihtric whispered as they watched Finan try and talk some sense into him.
"Maybe." She whispered as she took the fur from Osferth and laid it out.
"I will go look for more wood before I kill someone." Y/N muttered, feeling fed up. She was becoming more and more frustrated by the day. It was as if Beocca's death tore a wedge between all of them, and Y/N did not know how to fix it. It tore a wedge between Finan and Uhtred, and she hated it. She saw the way Finan felt defeated when Uhtred gave up.

"Y/N!" Finan called out to her. She could hear his anger and frustration in his voice.
"I'm here." She called back. Staying put so he could find her.
"Y/N, tell me what to do!" Finan spoke as he grabbed her face. His eyes held so much pain and frustration. "He wants his men to abandon him. He wants us to give up fighting." Y/N held his arms, letting him spit his frustration at her. "The men want their silver, and I don't have it. I have nothing to give to them, and they look me like I'm supposed to tell them what to do. Huh? What am I supposed to do?" Finan shook her face, his voice breaking.
"It's okay, Finan. You are okay!" Finan squeezed his eyes shut as he smacked his forehead against hers.
"I need yu, Y/N. And Sihtric, I can't do this alone." Y/N lifted her hands towards his face, making him look at her.
"Me and Siht will not go anywhere, Fin. We will get through this. We will return to Mercia. To Cynlæf and think of another plan. That is what we do." Finan nodded before grabbing her face to bring to his lips. His lips pulled against hers harshly, trying to force her strength into his. He needed her. He needed her guidance.
"I love you, woman, so much." He breathed out as he nuzzled his nose against hers before pulling her lips towards his.