Secrets

Chapter 39

Other than walking Bear... I hadn't left my apartment for a few days now... I had turned off my phone because the calls kept coming not only from Steve but from everyone... I was lying in bed all day numb... I dont know how many days had gone by and i didn't care... I was allowing myself to wallow for a while... To feel sorry for myself... The only one i had been in contact with was Fury... He told me to take time... And offered me a transfer if i wanted it but to take my time to think about it... 

I was so confused because part of me wanted to go back... To just jump in Steve his arms kiss him and forget... I wanted him to hold me... But then i thought about him not even admitting about the necklace when i gave him the chance and the feeling died down a bit... 

Still i missed him... I missed them all... I hated that i missed them... I hated that i had let them in and was now hurting because of it... 

There was a tap on my window...Bear started barking and i looked confused only to smile when i saw Peter at the other side of the window... I got out of bed and opened the window for him and chuckled as he crawled in going up the wall over the ceiling before dropping himself to the floor... Bear just followed him looking confused as to why he was crawling around the ceiling. "Show off..." I said chuckling and he pulled his mask off grinning... 

"What are you doing here Peter... And how did you know were i am..." I ask feeling on edge all of a sudden. "Fury..." He said blushing and i chuckled immediately relaxing... "Of course..." I mumble... "Fury thought you might need some company... How are you..." He whispers and i smile... "I am fine Peter..." I say and he shakes his head... "You dont look fine..." He says and i chuckle as i look down at myself... "Yeah i guess you are right... I am hurting Peter... But i will be okay..." I say letting out a sigh... 

"I told them they all suck... I will not go to the compound anymore... I hate that they treated you this way..." He whispers and i sigh... "Peter... You dont have to do that... You love going to the compound..." I say and he shakes his head... "I liked it more when you were there..." He says and i sigh... "It doesn't feel like a family anymore..." He mumbles and my heart breaks... I knew Peter loved the family feeling even when they teased him... I hated that me leaving took that away from him...

"Peter you were there long before i came into the picture..." I say and he rolls his eyes... "Yeah and they all treated me as a joke... You made them stop... You made us a family... With family dinners... Now it is takeout every night again and eating in silence..." He says and i sigh again... "You know what here take my phone..." I said turning it on... "Order us some food and i will go and take a shower and get dressed... Sorry i dont have the energy to cook but we can have dinner together and talk... Okay?" I asked and he smiled and nodded...

I walked to the bathroom and took a shower and after i changed in some clean clothes... I smiled as Peter was sitting on the couch with Bear... "He misses you..." I say smiling and Peter smiles back... 

I wondered if i should ask about Steve and the others... I decided not to... "So, what did you order..." I ask grabbing us some bottles of water... "Pizza..." Peter said and i smiled. 

"Cleo...?" He said and i looked at him... "Yes..." I answered and he took a deep breath... "Are you ever going back...?" He asked in a small voice... I sighed and walked to the couch sitting down next to him... "I dont know Peter... Trust is broken... And that is hard to get back... I thought i had a relationship with Steve based on trust... We made a promise to each other that we wouldn't have secrets... He could have told me what the necklace really was... I dont have anything to hide... I would have worn it... But even when i gave him one more chance he didn't tell me... And i wonder if he ever would if he had not been kidnapped by Sharon..." I say and he nods...

"I know they are really sorry... It is not the same without you..." He whispered and i sighed... "I thought you didn't go to the compound anymore..." I said and he sighed... "Since yesterday... I was training... Bucky and Sam kept pushing and pushing and i just blurted it out and left... Steve has been grumpy and in the gym all the time... He doesn't talk to anyone... He misses you... Even Mr. Stark hasnt been annoying him like he normally does..." Peter says and i sigh because part of me hates that he feels this way...

My buzzer went off telling me that the pizza was here and i stand up pressing the button to open the door downstairs... "Look Peter... I dont know what to tell you... I miss him to... I love him and that is maybe what hurts the most... I didn't suddenly stop loving him... But i also dont think i should give in so easily... I need to put my foot down... Besides i was acting like a crazy person freezing them and yelling at them" I said grabbing some cash from my bag... 

"No one blames you for that... Mr. Stark even said that they all deserved it... He feels terrible for suggesting it to Steve in the first place... I dont think he gave you the necklace because he didn't trust you... I heard them talking about a threat... The mission they were on was a set up... To get Steve... Besides if he really wanted to track you, he wouldn't have accepted the necklace to take with him..." Peter said and i was stunned for a moment because i never had thought about that... 

"Still, he didn't tell me there was GPS in the necklace... Again, if he would have talked about it with me i hadn't refused... All i want from him was to be honest..." I whisper... 

There is a knock on the door and thinking it is our pizza i open it only to freeze on the spot... "Steve..." I whisper when i finally am able to speak...