Secrets

Chapter 51

"Well, that explains the baby obsession... My body was trying to tell me but i didn't want to listen..." I mumble as i read the results over and over again... How am i going to tell Steve... What is he going to say?  We never came further with the family talk with... Have you thought about it... And him answering... Sometimes... But i never got a definite answer to whether he wanted a family... "I guess my birth control didn't stand a chance with the super soldier sperm..." I mumble and i make myself chuckle...

But then panic sets in again... How am i going to tell Steve... What if he doesn't want this... Would he be angry? Will he leave me? He won't, right?  Bear walks over to me and nudges me and i smile. I scoot further on the couch and pat next to me for Bear to come and cuddle. 

I can't tell him this over the phone... What if he gets so caught up in the news that he gets hurt... I will have to wait until he comes back... I sigh and cuddle into Bear... "We can't get dad hurt right..." I murmur to Bear who looks at me and tilts his head. "Do you think daddy will be happy?" I ask him and he tilts his head the other way. "Do you like a brother or sister...?" 

Would we be allowed to stay here?  Wouldn't the others be annoyed... I can understand that they dont want a crying baby around. So many things going through my mind... It is driving me insane even more so because i have to wait for Steve to come home... "Why a mission today?" I mumble and sigh getting more comfortable on the couch... 

Bear keeps putting his head on my stomach sniffing it like he knows and is trying to find the baby... I wonder how far along i am... This can't be from our little mid break rendezvous right this must be going on longer... Babies kept popping into my mind a lot longer and suddenly i sit up... I had drinks at the party... I was probably pregnant then... I groan... What if i have done damage... Suddenly another thing pops into my mind... Will the baby have mine and Steve's ability's... Or is the serum not part of the DNA... I dont really know... Is my power part of my DNA... I groan again... "I want Steve... Would there be something that will get him home earlier?" I think to myself but i shake my head... I can't be selfish... People need him right now...

Part of me is glad Banner didn't read the results... The less people know the better... For now, i want to keep this to myself... and when Steve gets back Steve of course... If i have the courage to tell him... I am so scared to tell him... Why didn't we have the talk about kids...I know why because every time we would start, we would get interrupted... 

I sigh and close my eyes dozing off but not all the way and i dont know how long i have been snoozing but i snap out of it when my phone rings and see Steve's picture appear on the screen...

"Hey baby..." I answer trying to sound awake... "Princess... How are you feeling?" He asks and i sigh... "Alone..." I mumble and Bear lifts his head like he is saying what about me... "Sorry buddy not that alone..." I mumble and Steve chuckles... "Banner said you must have the results by now..." He says softly and i sigh. "Nothing is wrong... Like i said i just need sleep better at night..." I lie and i hate that i lie but i need him home safe and i am scared he won't be coming home safe if i deliver this news over the phone... I just hope he isn't going to hate me for this... 

"Okay princess i was just checking in i dont have long... I love you..." Steve says and i smile... "Love you to... Be safe and come home..." I whisper and i can feel he is smiling i dont need to see him to know. "See you in a few days... This is not going to be a long mission..." Steve says and i thank God... "Okay love you..." I mumble and hang up...

I sigh and look at the time... I cancel my alarm and walk to the kitchen. I decide to go for mashed potatoes and roast chicken and vegetables... I season the chicken and put it in the oven before peeling potatoes and washing the vegetables... 

An hour later there is a knock on the door and i smile letting Sarah and her boys in... They run over to Bear greeting him and i hug Sarah. "Something smells good..." She says smiling and i chuckle. We sit down at the counter, and we talk about her first day. I smile as she is telling how much fun she had with the others.

We have a nice dinner with the boys who devour the food before asking if they can leave the table and when they are excused, they run back to Bear... "I see a dog in your future..." I say smirking... "Yeah maybe..." Sarah says letting out a sigh. While we watch them play with Bear i get us some ice cream and put it in a bowl... The boys come back running and i give them the ice-cream and they calm down... 

After dinner the boys and Sarah leave, and we agree to eat in here every night, but she wants to help cook. I am fine with that and so we have a deal... 

I go to bed early hoping that know that i know i will get some sleep... I let Bear sleep with me not wanting to sleep alone... I dream about babies and Steve... Of a little mini-Steve... A happy family... Steve running around chasing a little toddler who is squealing and giggling.