Secrets

Chapter 66

Steve and i are settling in in our temporary room...  Steve, Sam, Bucky and Clint are moving some of our furniture in because i wanted our own bed and stuff... I was sitting down with Nat on the couch while the guys did all the heavy lifting. "How are you feeling..." She asked smiling and i sighed... "Tired..." I mumble and she takes my hand. "Isn't that normal in the first trimester?" She asks and i nod... "Yeah, but i dont like it... I feel useless..." I say and Nat smiles... "Dont... You are growing life... That is not being useless..." She said smiling... "I just dont have the energy for all this..." I said waving around and she hugged me...

"Where do you want the bed doll..." Bucky says as he walks in with the headboard... I chuckle and look around... "I have no clue... Just put it over there..." I say pointing at the wall and he puts the headboard down... I feel a little lost and overwhelmed... All i want is to crawl into bed and sleep, but my bed is not even assembled yet... 

"Everything will be put together in no time..." Nat said seeing the panic and defeat in my eyes and i smiled a little and nodded... Steve came walking in with the mattrass and Clint and Sam with other bed parts... 

"Can you put the bed together first before you go and get the other stuff..." Nat said and they looked at little confused but did as she asked... After they were ready the left to get the other stuff i wanted and i looked at Nat. "Thank you..." I whispered and she smiled giving me a hug... 

She got up and made the bed telling me to relax and although i was happy i didn't have to do it... I felt guilty but i was more tired than ever and i started to think that Banner had a point with the baby taking more of my energy because of the serum from Steve or maybe the kid had something from me... We hand no clue yet... Tomorrow Banner would check and do some tests... I told him nothing invasive... Nothing that was going to put the baby in danger...I had this little bump, but you had to know that i was pregnant because it looked like i had a massive meal... 

"The bed is ready..." Nat said smiling pulling me out of my own thoughts and i looked up and smiled... "Thank you..." I murmured and she walked over to me and pulled me up and we sat down on the bed getting comfortable... The guys walked in and asked were to put things and i sighed looking at Nat. "Can you please..." I whispered pleading with her, and she nodded and crawled off the bed while i crawled under the sheets closing my eyes. 

I couldn't be bothered somehow... I listened as Nat took control telling them were to put everything down... I didn't care... It was temporary anyway... I just wanted to sleep... And eat... I was hungry but i didn't feel like cooking... I didn't have the energy to cook... Maybe i should just take a bath later to relax... 

I felt awful... I felt so guilty for not being more excited about getting a whole floor to ourselves but at this point i was just feeling hopeless because we didn't have a real space for ourselves with a place for the baby... But above all that  i was just too tired... It was getting worse by the day and i was scared... Maybe i was just depressed... Maybe i just needed to go back to the lake house... But Steve wanted me here for safety for when he had to go on a mission... Which i understood...

"Hey guys... I got the chairs..." A soft voice chirped and i looked up and smiled when i say Peter showing off carrying the lounge chairs making me chuckle as Sam and Bucky rolled their eyes... "Just put them there, Peter..." Nat said and i smiled... "Hey Cleo..." He said skipping over to the bed sitting down on the side of the bed after he had put the chairs down... "I need a Peter cuddle..." I said and pulled him in the bed with me holding him tight and i chuckled as he awkwardly hugged my back... 

I could hear the rest chuckle and Peter relaxed a bit... "Are you okay?" He whispered and i chuckled. I let him go... "Sorry Peter... Hormones... I didn't want to make you uncomfortable..." I whisper and he chuckles. "You didn't..." He lied and i smiled... "You are an awful liar Peter... But could you do me a favor?" I ask and he nods... "Can you get me some subway?" I whisper and he chuckles and nods running out. 

"Should i be worried?" Steve said smirking and i shook my head. "Nope... But sometimes i need a Peter cuddle..." I said blushing and Steve walked over and kissed me. "Silly princess..." He whispered and i blushed... "He is going to get me subway..." I said and Steve laughed... 

"He is going to get you what?" Sam asked and i blushed... "Subway..." I murmured and he gasped... "He didn't even ask what we wanted..." Sam said and i laughed... "Well call him and ask if he wants to bring you some to..." I said and he mumbled something before they all walked out to get the rest of the stuff we needed. 

"Cleo?" Nat said and i sat up and looked at her... "Is it okay like this?" She said waving around and i nodded... "Yeah it is fine..." I said with tears in my eyes and i dont know why... "Oh Cleo..." Nat said hugging me letting me cry... "I just want to feel like me again..." I said between Sobs... As Nat just held me comforting me... "Banner will find out something tomorrow to make you feel more like yourself or maybe it will get better when you are further along..." She said and i sighed. "But what if this is going to be it for 9 months... I will go insane..." I mumbled and she chuckled... 

"Everything okay?" I hear Steve say and Nat waves him over handing me over to him and he holds me while i cry... She tells the other to just put the stuff down before herding them out the room closing the door behind her...

"Sorry i am such a crybaby..." I mumble but Steve just kisses the top of my head and lays down with me... The warmth of his body and his steady heartbeat has a calming effect and soon i am asleep...