23 ❀ I still pine for what I have lost

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I STILL PINE FOR WHAT I HAVE LOST

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I STILL PINE FOR
WHAT I HAVE LOST

00:23

**✿❀ ❀✿**

Dear, you

Sadie told me I should write my feelings because she does too. She even bought me a journal. How silly is that?

I told her I had nobody to write to, so there was no point. But she told me to note to my future self. That's dumb. She doesn't make sense sometimes.

I wouldn't have much motivation to write if I were writing to my future self because he's probably stupid. No offense, older me.

So I'll write to you.

Dear, you

Jaeden's father left the city, and I haven't heard from him since. I feel like something's wrong or that something is kept from me. But I don't know what.

I understand his decision to leave; I wish he would've let me say goodbye to Jaeden. When I went to where his hospital room was, all the staff said I wasn't allowed to go because I wasn't a family member.

Dear, you

Sadie told me that your mom took you out of school. Is that true? You said you only ever came to school because of me and Jaeden, so now you have no reason to be there.

Sometimes I think Sadie is lying to me then I feel bad because she is just trying to help.

I bought the same cologne Jaeden used to use. It smells nice, and I wear it sometimes. Sadie doesn't like it, though, because it's too strong. But that's how Jaeden wants it.

She doesn't know I am writing to you, by the way. She does ask how my writing has been going, and sometimes she tries to peek. But I don't let her. What I write here is just for me. And for you.

Dear, you

Sadie told me I should pursue acting, but I don't want to anymore; I miss life before all this. Why would I want to be famous?

Dear, you

I think I like Sadie.

She's friendly, and she helps me. I don't want to write to you anymore because I feel bad that I'm writing to my ex when I like someone else.

Update: I kissed her today. It was lovely, I guess. It's still something for me to get used to because it's not you.

Your lips are softer, and you taste sweeter. You always tasted like strawberry shortcake because of that chapstick you always wore.

Maybe I should buy some for myself. My lips have been chapped because I haven't kissed you since you were in a coma at the hospital.

She told me that she wanted to finish school online and go to LA so I could pursue acting. Maybe I should.

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