𝐑𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

47 ✿ I can't recall the last time I was kissed

I CAN'T RECALL
THE LAST TIME
I WAS KISSED

00:47

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

I LOVE FLOWERS. I LOVE FLOWERS
because they watch for me. I love flowers because they don't judge me. They can't judge me. They won't judge me. I love flowers because even when I'm bottling up every word that has ever swum through my mind, they don't say a word to me. They let me wander beneath my silence.

Flowers keep my mind from dying. Flowers are beautiful. But I hate how I can never amount to their beauty. I'll never be enough to be them or to be loved like them. To be loved by them. I wanted to be beloved, To be wanted. To be needed.

Y/n. Y/n will never be a flower- to hide that reality. She hides in them as a child hides away from their mother. Y/n can't be needed unless missed. Y/n can't be loved unless found, and Y/n can't be found unless lost.

I want to be lost. I want to be young again. I want to be young forever. Let me be young forever. Finn. You are the youth I've been missing. You are the past of mine that I hate. The past of mine that I've lost. You are the flower that I'll never be.

So, I'll hate you. I'll hate you in spring. I'll hate you in summer. I'll hate you in fall.

I'll hate you in winter.

Y/n sat in her silence until Finn's tall figure was bestowed upon her, feeling his presence begin to burn her. "You found me." She whispered. Y/n wrapped herself in a purple knitted blanket.

Every single stitching glided through her skin as though sewn in. "I'll always come find you."

Poetic, and yet the words began pouring out as though Finn was nothing more than a starved artist. "You wanted to talk to me. So talk to me before I change my mind." Y/n mocked the man's words that he spoke on the phone.

He so easily could've laughed. He could've ignored it. He could've forgotten. He could've walked away. But he sat beside her. Living in her silence, the two only heard noises of crickets and occasional moments where the fated lovers' heartbeats exceeded those of normality.

"I want to be a good dad. Y/n, I want to be good at this like you." He peered at her while she huddled up in her blanket. Sniffling from the cold. She was sure enough to get sick if she stayed for too long. Finn knew this; the guilty and soft wind had become his new enemy.

Y/n's beautiful face heated up. She despised the feeling of vulnerability—the feeling of being the worst attribute of youth. Y/n sniffled again; this time, it wasn't from the cold. "I know you do. I just wish you never had to be one."

Finn's eyes glinted from sorrow, unable to fathom the type of regret she was going through. She regretted him. And for some fucked up reason, it felt like he was being broken up with. "Never had to be what?" He was asking this in hope, in the small hope that he had it wrong.