Fangirl Fanfiction

Chapter 41

After breakfast, Levi leaves for work. I've decided that although it's much more fun to lay in bed eating Pocky and watching reruns of Friends all day, I'd rather not get fat and depressed. So, I clean up my room a little, and throw in a load of laundry so that I can wear some clean clothes.

While the clothes are washing I take a shower, and it feels amazing. I had been dirty and gross for so long, I almost forgot what it was like to be clean.

It may have only been a few weeks for everyone else, but it felt like an eternity to me. For all that time, all I could think about was the baby I never got to meet. I don't want to think about it, so I run my fingers through my hair, and turn off the water.

I know most people like to workout and then shower, but I like to feel nice and clean when I workout, and then shower again after. I know, wasteful, but I like it that way. I slowly get out of the shower and put on some workout clothes.

I stick my purple headphones into my ears, put on my arm strap, and turn up the volume. I use Sony headphones instead of iphone headphones, because the Sonies block out ALL sound. I don't want reality leaking into my break. When I go jogging, all the things I'm stressed about don't seem to bother me anymore. It's kind of like music underwater. You know it's there, but it's muffled, and you can't really hear it. I can't jog without music; it's awkward. The whole world is still there, and it feels like the entire universe is watching you with it's judgy non-existent eyeballs. My heart pounds fast and my chest burns, but I continue to push myself.
I don't want to stop running.
I don't ever want to stop running. I run so fast that If I hit a crack in the sidewalk, I'd go flying at least 5 feet.

I run 2.5 miles, and head back home.

I shower again, and it's about noon. As I scroll through insistent comments on my fic, I force myself to eat some leftover salad that I found in the fridge.

"UPDATE!"

"WHERE TF HAVE YOU BEEN MAGICATH SERIOUSLY WHO ARE YOU"

They obviously don't understand what it means to have a life.

Or to have one taken away.

I start to get depressed again, so I watch a love movie to cheer me up. Of course I make sure it's one with a happy ending, so that I don't depress myself even more.

And of course, I choose Pretty Woman. I looooveeeeee Pretty Woman. It's so romantic and totally un-realistic and rare. How often does a high-class man with killer looks fall in love with a misunderstood low-class prostitute? Not very often.

I'm so lucky to have Levi. Thinking back to our very first years of college, I was a trainwreck. I was so alone, and even though I thought I was fine being alone, I wasn't. I was just misunderstood, like Vivian Ward. But two people actually took an interest in me, for some strange reason.

Somehow they saw in me what I didn't see in myself. They saw that there was potential inside me, and that I could be something more than just a lonely freshman dating her non-loyal boyfriend who lived hours away. I got so used to being unwanted and invisible that it became comfortable and normal. If I were to go back to that, I would hate it.

My life could be worse.

I pick myself up, and head up to my room to pick out an outfit.

I open my closet, and begin prepping my first night out in a long time.