I can't rewrite our fate

chapter 6: his past

His~>

I'm in the car driving to work as I'm reminded of what Noor asked.

"Wait is your mum home? Should I give my Salam?"

My heart ached as she said this. I couldn't look at her. I knew it wasn't her fault and I didn't blame her either.

She didn't remember.

Her memory was gone.

The times when her and Hala would bake with my mother. Me on the side throwing a handful of flour at her, were gone.

Grief.

It's something that I struggled with in the past, still do to this day. But I feel as if I'm growing. Not in a drastic way, but small steps at a time.

My mother's death, taught me how to deal with grief.

The reason I left 5 years ago was because of her death.

My dad was driving me to Samir's house, my mother in the back. A drunk driver came from the left and pure black was the only thing I remember after that.

Only two people survived, myself and my dad.

I will never forgive myself for that night.

I ultimately disappeared after her passing.

I wouldn't come to school that much. I tried to ghost Samir and Elias everyday at school, but they knew why I was doing what I did.
They both kept contact with me but our friendship became strained.

My older brother, Haadi would try to help me and Hala with our homework. Mostly Hala as i would be sleeping through it.

I wouldn't see my dad as much as we used to when my mother was alive. Maybe because I reminded him of her too much when she passed.

Me and my dad didn't have the best relationship. We would fight way too often, something I didn't want Hala to see. We then came to an agreement that I moved to my uncle's, so that's what I did.

Before I left Noor tried talking to me on my last day at my old school. Which ended up in a fight that left her hating me. But I rather we ended like that, it was easier to move on.

But how could I say I missed her in a way that makes her heart ache, the same way mine does?

"Khalil you're late." My elder brother says, his attention towards the guys in the boxing ring.

Haadi decided I should work for him in his boxing gym. When I finally came to a decision of moving back for good, a week ago.

I was hesitant at first but then realised I had experience in this field, as my uncle made me join a boxing club for self defence when I lived with him.

Also Elias worked there too which was a plus.

"Yeah I know Haadi. Hala forgot her phone at home before I dropped her and Noor off at the Mosque." I reply.

"Hala's the most forgetful person in the world, no wonder." He says, shaking his head with a grin.

"Got that right." I respond, getting my boxing gloves out of my backpack.

"How's Noor, by the way?" Haadi asks, curiously.

My mind flies back to the conversation me and her had earlier.
She was trying her best to seem fine, with everything going on in her life.