Open Your Arms

Chapter 4

March 26, 2003

There's something about Ville that attracts me to him on a different level, but I can't place my finger on it. I don't know what it is about him, but I'm determined to find out. 

After our interaction last night, I felt weak in the knees. The way he looked down at me and made eye contact with me made my stomach do a cartwheel.

I want to know if he feels the same way. I highly doubt he does, considering that we've only known each other for two days. I don't know how insane someone must be to develop feelings for someone after only knowing them for two days. 

Never would I have thought that this could happen to me. I mean, I promised myself years ago that I wouldn't deveop feelings for a man after knowing them for only less than a day. I made myself that promise because I've never been obsessive over boys, so I wanted to keep that promise so that I could stay that way. 

Ville's different. The way he acts, his manner; he's just different. I haven't met anyone like him before. 

"Hey, snap out of it," Bam snaps his fingers right in front of my face. "I've been asking you the same question for the past ten minuts."

"That's a lie," I lean back in my chair. "What's the question?"

"What should we do today?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Don't ask me, I don't know."

Goose emerges from the bathroom, rubbing his forehead. "I don't think Ville likes me that much."

"Why?" Bam asks him. 

I'm suddenly invested in the conversation. Anything that has to do with Ville I want to know all about. 

"I just walked out of the bathroom," Goose sits down as he continues his story. "And he gives me this awful look and goes, 'What are you doing here?' as if I didn't just make a fucking music video just for him."

I roll my eyes. "Maybe the sun got in his eyes or something."

"Trust me, there was no sun," Goose assures me. 

"Okay," I tell him. 

Jenn runs out into the living room we're in and hands me the phone. "Your parents are on the phone. They want to talk to you to make sure that you're alright."

I grab the phone from her and walk out front onto the balcony. I press the phone to my ear. "Hi."

"Hi!" My mom shrieks. "Larissa, how are you doing?!"

"I'm doing pretty well, actually," I have this sudden urge to smoke a cigarette. I've never had this feeling before, but I can't ignore it. It's too strong. I walk back into my hotel room and grab a cigarette from my suitcase along with a lighter. I go outside and light it, then take a drag. 

The urge goes away very quickly. 

"Hello?" My mom asks in an annoyed tone. 

I exhale the smoke. "Sorry, I was doing something."

She sighs. "Okay, well, I'm just trying to have a conversation with you."

"I'm listening, don't worry," I lie and take another drag. "What were you saying?"

"We miss you, that's all. Your sister and brother do, too."

"How's she doing?" My eyes light up as soon as I hear my sister being mentioned. 

She is my favorite person in the world. She always has been and she always will be. She's three years younger than me, so I have to protect her no matter what. She doesn't like how possessive I am over her, but I can't help it. I never want to see her get her.