Open Your Arms

Chapter 12

April 19, 2003

Ville has to go back to Finland in ten days. Ten. He keeps telling me about how I need to make a decision on whether I'm going or not, but not in a pressuring type of way. We just need to know that way I will still be able to buy a ticket ahead of time and it won't be too late. 

For the most part, I've agreed to go with him. We went over all the logistics of things-that's how his brain works-and it'll work out. The only thing that I'm hesitant on is staying with him on the tour next year and how my parents are going to react to this. 

Despite how much I've been wanting to travel, I don't want to travel for that long and I still want to be with my family. I've never been away from my family for over a month. I can say almost 100% guarantee that they're going to say no for that reason alone. But, they can't tell me not to go since I'm an adult now. 

"There's no way I'm not going with!" Bam shouts as he overhears Ville's and I's conversation about Finland. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask him, referring to my apartment. 

"Looking for my man, of course," He pats Ville on the back. 

"We should get going to tell them," I tell Ville. We decided that today we're going to go to my parent's house to tell them about the plan. 

"Do you think they're going to tell you 'no'?" He asks. 

"They can't really tell me 'no' and not to go, but I definitely don't think that they'll approve of it," I honestly reply and see that he seems saddened by this. "But, they're unpredictable, so there is a chance that they'll be happy--wait, of course they'll be happy no matter that-I mean on board."

"No," Bam vigorously shakes his head. "There's no way that they're going to be happy for you. Do you know your parents, Larissa?"

Ville turns his head in the opposite direction of Bam and I to blow out his smoke. "Well, let's get this done and over with so that we don't have to keep delaying and thinking about what they may or may not say."

"You're not coming with," I point to Bam. "This is something that both of us need to do. Alone."

"Ugh, you're no fun," He groans. "I'm going back to my house then, where you won't be!"

"Please," I groan and get into my car in the driver seat. Ville still doesn't have a driver's license, so he's not able to drive anywhere--it's always me. 

I don't mind driving. If anything, I've always enjoyed it. But I enjoy being able to look at Ville more than the road. If I'm driving, I'm not able to do that. 

"What's wrong?" He asks as I begin to drive. 

I sigh. "I know that they're not going to be happy about this and I don't want it to cause this whole fucking argument--this always happens. They always get mad about me at something like that. They weren't even happy when I went with Jenn and Bam to Finland--the time that I met you for the first time."

"Well, don't get yourself worked up over something that hasn't even happened yet."

                                                   ------------------------------------------

"No!" My mother shouts after we told her the plan, but acts as if I just told her that I decided to go on a murderous rampage. "You're going to be there for over a month, no. Anything can happen, Larissa. You're a woman alone in a foreign country and-"