Open Your Arms

Chapter 65

September 20, 2005

"Jake and I went to Italy and just came back a couple days ago," I inform Hailey. "We went for his movie premiere. It was a good movie."

"What movie?" She asks, looking through all the baby clothes her and Russell ordered.

They had a gender reveal party for the baby and we found out that it's a boy. Hailey actually wanted a boy rather than a girl. I was surprised. Russell thankfully was hoping it was a boy too, so things worked out in the end. 

"It's called Proof." I find myself staring at Hailey's stomach more often than I should be. 

She's five months pregnant--around the same time that I had my miscarriage. It's hard to believe that she is five months because when I was, I was not as big as her. Her stomach pops out a lot more than mine ever did. 

This is another one of the things I envy her for, but I haven't shown it. She's going to get further than I ever did in my pregnancy. 

"I've never heard of it," She replies, and exhales, leaning backwards on her couch. 

Hailey and Russell bought a one-story house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. It's 2,032 square feet, but it's very open so it looks much bigger than it is. 

It's a very nice house. Hailey and Russell are living the ideal dream. Russell goes off to work everyday while Hailey stays at home and preps for the baby. She decided that she's going to be a stay at home mom.

"Yeah, it's not super popular," I mutter, going back to folding the clothes that Hailey likes. She's been very picky about the clothes. Some of them she likes, some of them she doesn't, and then others she's been very indecisive. 

"What's wrong?" Hailey notices that I'm upset. 

I look up at her and smile. "Nothing's wrong, I was just looking down."

"Come on, tell me." 

"It's nothing," I assure her and go back to folding the little clothes she likes. These could've been my son's clothes if he didn't fucking die. 

My eyes are drawn to the wedding picture that Hailey and Russell hung on their wall in the front of the living room above the television. Hailey is shown with her right hand on Russell's face and she's smiling at him as he holds her. She's leaning backwards while his hand is on her lower back and he, too, is smiling at her. 

The wedding really made me want one myself. I want to get married someday and have numerous kids. I don't care if I only have one kid; I just want at least one. Now I'm too scared to get pregnant again, in fear that I might have a miscarriage. 

The garage door opens and Russell walks through it, holding a carton of milk. 

"Babe, I got--Oh, hi Larissa!" He waves to me, unexpected to see me here. "I didn't know that you were here."

"Hi," I shyly wave back at him. "I just came by to hang out."

"When did you leave?" Hailey suddenly turns around, looking confused that he left. 

Russell sets the milk down on the counter and walks behind Hailey, massaging her shoulders. "I went to go get the milk for us since I know that you don't like going in the car."

I furrow my eyebrows at her. "Why don't you like going in the car?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know."

Russell scoffs and smiles, then looks at me. "She's just worried that she might get into an accident and cause something."

My eyes land on Hailey and she looks disappointed.