Open Your Arms

Chapter 71

February 20, 2006

My eyes wander at the bridal store. We were just supposed to be going window shopping, but I want to go inside of here. 

Marriage has been on my mind a lot recently. Jake and I have been dating for a over a year now--coming up to two years--and I know that people go at different paces, but right now is around the time where people typically get engaged. 

Jake and I haven't really talked about marriage. We've talked about spending the rest of our lives together, but that's about as much as it gets. We've never been as open about this stuff as Ville and I were. 

It's not that we lack communication. We both know what we want. He wants to get married at some point and so do I. It's just a matter of when and if he's ready or not. I'm ready. 

"Oh, that's such a pretty dress," Maggie points towards the wedding dress in the middle of the window. 

"Girls," Peter shakes his head at Jake. 

"You know what?" Maggie grabs me by the arm and interlocks it with hers. "Larissa and I are going to go inside and we're going to be girls and look at the dresses."

I eye Jake and smirk at him. 

"Jake and I will just have some alone time," Peter mimicks the same gestures that Maggy did with me. 

"See you later," Maggie drags me inside the store, not even giving me a chance to speak up for myself. 

The sight of the dresses overwhelms me. The last time I was in a bridal store was when I was picking out my bridesmaids dress for Hailey's wedding. 

The amount of white is sickening to my eyes, but hopeful for my heart. Looking at wedding dresses somehow gives me hope that one day I'll be able to buy one for myself and get dressed in it. 

Maggie immediately wanders over to the dresses that look more like gowns. "Oh, I love looking at wedding dresses."

I nod, agreeing with her. "Yeah."

She sighs, facing me. "I'm sorry. I forced you to come in here and I didn't even ask if you wanted to do this."

"No, no, I like looking at wedding dresses. They're very pretty."

She muses at all of them. "God, I want to get married so bad. I know I shouldn't rush into marriage, but I've always liked the idea of it."

I agree with her. "I like weddings and all that stuff. My sister just recently got married, so I've been thinking about it more."

She pauses. "Are you and my brother engaged?"

"No, no," I chuckle, feeling a bit sad that I have to deny it, though. "No, we're not engaged."

She sighs in relief. "I was about to say...how did he not tell me that?"

We continue to look through the dresses. I long for a wedding. I want a wedding. 

"Do you think your brother is the type for commitment or something like that?" I ask Maggie. 

She stops pushing through the dresses and looks at me. "What do you mean?"

"Would he be the type to propose or is he not for that?"

She pauses. "I don't know."

She seems really hesitant, like she doesn't want to tell me something. 

"Maggie--" I start, but she cuts me off. 

"If you're looking to get married sometime in the next year to two years, then it's not happening. That's all I'm going to say."