Open Your Arms

Chapter 68

October 27, 2005

"I was fucking dead, Missy," I say to her as we're alone in the kitchen. That's the only reason why I'm able to talk to her about this. If anyone else was here, I wouldn't be speaking about this. "I mean, a part of me died with that baby."

She nods, understanding what I'm saying. "I can't ever imagine going through that."

I take a sip of my coffee. "I was a bitch to everyone. I just didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to get better, I just wanted the baby back and I felt as if that was the only thing that would make me happy."

"I've never had to deal with anyone dying in my life before," She confides in me. "But I mean, I've lost people before--friends, relationships, that whole thing."

It's nice to be able to talk with her without feeling judged, unlike every time I ever spoke with Jenn. 

"Is it weird going from dating a musician to an actor?" Missy asks me, sipping her tea. 

"You know, a lot of people ask me that, but it's really not. I guess it's because I never thought of them as musicians or actors. I just thought of them as Ville and Jake."

"That's how I think of Bam. I also think of him as an idiot, but not as a celebrity or anything." Missy turns around as Ville enters the room. "Good morning."

"Morning," He says shortly, making a cup of coffee. 

"Oh!" Missy exclaims, turning back to me. "How are your arms doing?"

I roll up my sleeves and see that the hand prints are still very much visible. "Well, his hands are still there."

It's really been bothering me. I've taken numerous showers as if that will help get them off, but it doesn't work. Nothing does. Only time will heal it.

She pouts her lip. "That is so disgusting."

Ville stands in front of us at the island, leaning over on the counter while drinking his coffee. Bam comes down right after, kissing Missy straight on the lips. 

"Where's my kiss?" He turns to me and puckers his lips. 

"Oh get out of here," I shove him away and laugh, turning to drink another sip of my coffee. 

"Where's Novak?" Bam asks. "He's supposed to be here right now."

A loud pounding comes from the back door. Lo and behold, there stands Novak, wearing a shirt and no pants. 

"Oh my God," I turn away and covering my eyes, not wanting to see that. It's only ten in the morning; I haven't had enough sleep for this. 

"Novak!" Ville walks towards the door. I forgot how good of friends they were with each other. 

The door opens and I hear Novak's scruffy face say, "Jesus Christ, Ville. What happened to your fucking face? It looks terrible. Did you get beat up by a girl?"

My head immediately jerks towards them after hearing that last sentence. Ville and Bam exchange looks, then begin to laugh hysterically. 

At least they have a good sense of humor. 

"I was!" Ville says to Novak. "I was beat up by a girl."

"That's gnarly," Novak shakes his head, then turns to Bam. "Alright what are we doing today?" He makes eye contact with me. "Oh, hi Larissa. Hi Missy."

"Hi," We both say to him in unison. 

My phone begins to ring, so I jump off of the stool and take it out to find Jake's name on the front. I walk away and go into the front room so no one can hear our conversation.