Open Your Arms

Chapter 94

May 24, 2007

Despite his best attempts to get better, I don't know if Ville realizes how bad he really is. He's been eating a little more, but that's the only thing he's done to try and improve himself. 

He also explained to me that I have to be patient because it takes small steps to get better. 

I've been trying to be patient with him, but it's hard when he's not trying his best. I know he can try harder; I've seen him try harder for other things before. 

Last night was the first time that we've had sex in months. It wasn't as good as it used to be. It felt like his mind was elsewhere and he wasn't really focusing on me. 

But my mind is elsewhere as Missy and I enter the bridal store. 

She giggles as we walk inside. "I'm surprised that they're still open."

"Yeah, me too," I say, walking towards a random aisle with dresses. It's already ten and it's still open. The worker doesn't seem to be too happy about that. 

Missy comes beside me and pulls a dress out to the side, staring at it. "You're going to get a white dress?"

"What other color would I get?"

"Black," She says this as if I'm already supposed to know the answer. "You know, like a goth wedding?"

I chuckle. "No goth wedding. I don't want that. I want a white wedding and very pretty."

"Very pretty," She laughs. 

Missy's a little drunk. We went to the bar and I had one drink, but she had a little more than one.

She's not as obnoxious when she's drunk as I thought she would be. If anything, she just laughs a lot more and she seems a bit immature, which I can handle. 

"Okay this is completely pointless," I realize as we look through the dresses. "What are we even doing here? It's not like I'm going to buy a dress now."

"Do you want to go back to my house?" She offers. "We can just see what Ville and Bam and Novak and everyone else are doing."

"Okay."

Part of me wants to stay here just because I'm too scared to see what could possibly be going on at Bam's house. For all I know, they could be getting another tattoo on their other ass cheek. 

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Missy unlocks the front door with her key and immediately, I hear yelling. I turn towards Missy and shoot her a confused look, but she obviously has no idea what's going on. 

"I don't know, he just started not fucking breathing!" I hear Bam yell. 

My stomach turns. I know who and what he's talking about. 

I run towards where Bam's voice is and see other people coming back inside--Bam's other friends--and Ville on the couch, gripping the sides of it as he struggles to breathe and Bam's just standing there, freaking out and watching him. 

April on the other hand is rubbing Ville's back and not helping him. 

"Oh my fucking God!" I yell. "What the fuck are you guys doing?! Help him!"

Bam tries to tell me something, but I can't comprehend what he's saying. My mind is racing and my heartbeat quickens as I fall to the ground on my knees in front of Ville to reach inside of his pockets and grab his inhaler.