Open Your Arms

Chapter 86

December 13, 2006

Bam introduces us onto the radio. "Ville and Larissa, say hi."

"Hi," We both say very unenthusiastically. 

"Well, as you can tell, they are very happy to be here," Bam chuckles and takes a drink of his beer. "And here, we also have Missy and Novak, but they've been here for a while now."

Bam has his own radio show called Radio Bam--how original--and the logo is a heartagram with a circle around it that's red. It's pretty cool. 

He's apparently had Ville on the radio a couple of times, but this time he wanted both of us on it. 

"I feel like we're on Howard Stern or something with these headphones and the microphone that's in my face," I comment, sitting back from the microphone once more and leaning more into Ville as he continues to drink. I'm about to vomit just from how grossed out I am from it. 

"I've actually been on Howard Stern," Bam says. "I went with Steve-O in September."

Novak laughs. "That was probably fucking disasterous."

"Yeah, he pulled his dick out and I sucked it at one point," Bam rolls his eyes and he, Ville, and Novak all break out into a fit of laughter. Missy and I just roll our eyes at each other. 

"Wait, wait," Novak points back and forth between Ville and I. "I've known that you guys were back together for a while now, but what exactly happened?"

Ville looks at me. "You can tell them."

"Okay, well, as you know he and I broke up two years ago," I start the story. "And we got back together this year in about...June."

"Now how did that happen?" Novak asks, laughing. "I need the fucking details, not a vague fucking answer."

"Okay, okay, sorry," I chuckle. "Well, we saw each other on set at Jackass 2 when Ville had to shave his pubes and he was there with his then-fiancé Jonna and--" I turn to Ville. "Does he know what happened?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"Okay," I continue. "Novak, you know what happened with them and that fucking made me pissed when I found out. I wanted to kill her when I saw her."

"Jesus fuck," Bam laughs. "Larissa, we're live on air."

"I didn't kill her, did I?" I roll my eyes. "Anyway, she kind of instigated something with me and I don't remember what, but one thing led to another and I punched her and we fought and then yeah."

"Who won?" Novak asks. 

I shrug. "I don't know. We got pulled off of one another. So, a little after that, Ville stayed with Bam for a little and he and I would hang out, then one night we were talking and we kissed and now here we are."

"Ew, that's so corny," Novak rolls his eyes. "I want to ask something. You dated Jake Gyllenhaal, right?"

"Oh God," I groan. "Yes, I did."

"Why in the hell would you break up with him?"

"Well, put it this way. First of all, if we didn't break up, Ville and I would've never gotten back together. Secondly, he didn't want to get married and I did. It was just a big difference that we wanted."

"That's such a stupid fucking reason," Bam says. "I mean, you guys probably would've gotten married if you just waited."

I feel uncomfortable talking about this in front of Ville, especially considering that we were supposed to be married, but he's too drunk to even function right now. He probably doesn't even know what anyone's saying.