Open Your Arms

Chapter 63

June 21, 2005

I lean closer into the mirror and immediately become repulsed by my own face. My pores are not visible from afar, but since this tiny mirror enhances everything, I am able to see everything that's wrong with my face--including my pores. 

This is why I don't use mirrors like these, but it came with the apartment. Jake really likes it because it helps him see anything that he needs to do with his face, but for me it's different. 

I've always been insecure about myself. This mirror proves that what I'm thinking is right. 

Jake comes into the bathroom and pulls me backwards, away from the mirror. "Don't pick at your face; it'll just make it worse."

"There's nothing to pick at, I don't have any pimples."

He kisses my cheek. "What time are you leaving?"

I look at us in the mirror. He's behind me, holding my wrists across my chests and not letting me move my hands, but at the same time, he's hugging me. 

I like us. 

"I need to leave, like, right now," I turn around and smile at him. 

I wish he knew how much I love him and how much he's helped me. I was in such a stump before I met him and I thought that I wasn't going to be able to ever find love again. 

I didn't want to. I didn't want to love anyone else. I was hopeless after Ville, but Jake proved me wrong and I'm glad he did. 

"I don't want you to go," He whines, following me out of the bathroom and I grab my purse. 

I laugh. "Jake, we're right downstairs."

"Yeah, but I have nothing to do."

"Go...jerk off or something," I smirk at him and put on my sandals. I didn't want to wear heels tonight--those are for tomorrow. "We have this huge mansion that you can explore. I'm pretty sure that there's a basement down there with a movie theater or something. Go watch a movie."

"I'll just read," He grabs my face and kisses me. "If anything happens, you let me know."

He's been saying that a lot lately. Right before I leave the apartment to go out, he always tells me that. I wonder if he's just been more worried about me lately or wants me to know that he'll protect me. 

"I will," I kiss him one last time. "Okay, I have to go. They're going to get mad at me."

I walk out of the room and head downstairs into the courtyard.

My parents have been really stressed out this whole week because of Hailey's wedding, but my dad more than my mom. It has nothing to do with funds--they have the money for that--but more to do with the fact that his little girl is getting married and he wants everything to be perfect for her. 

Thankfully everything has gone according to plan. Nothing has messed up, except for Hailey. 

She's been a mess. She's been having doubts about the wedding. She's worried that she's making the wrong decision or that Russell doesn't truly love her. Of course she would never say any of this to our parents, but she's been confiding in me. She doesn't want them to stress out more than they already have. 

Today she seems to be doing better. She seems very excited and energetic and so does Russell. Russell seems the most relaxed out of everyone in this mansion. Axl and Janette have been stressed trying to tell Vanessa how to be a flower girl, but she doesn't seem to be able to fully wrap her head around it.