My safe space

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I hate going home. People say home is a place where you feel safe, happy, where you can be yourself and do what you want without getting in trouble for it.

But not for me.

My home is a place full of anger and beer. I get scared whenever I see Neil or Billy's car in the driveway, and I'm upset when the final bell of the day goes off.

Yes, I hate school. But it's my only escape from home, and honestly, that's all I need. But the teachers shout, just like at home. You can't be yourself without getting laughed at or rumours being spread, and you get in trouble for every little thing.

Well, I've known El since I was like 5 years old. I moved here from California once my mum married Neil, which is the reason I try my hardest to avoid home these days.

Anyway, as I was saying. El and I began dating almost 2 years ago, and she's my safe space. Normally people would say 'you remind me of home' or 'you're home to me', but if I said that that'd be wrong.

El doesn't remind me of my home. She doesn't shout at me, unless I steal her eggos at least. I can be myself and she loves me for who I am. She tells me everyday and shows it through her actions too.

Since I try my best to avoid home, El and I go on little dates everyday after school. Sometimes we go to the arcade, sometimes even lover's lake. But most of the time we can't be bothered to bike that far or Hopper won't let El borrow anymore money for the week. So instead we go on little picnic dates at the park, or even just nap dates.

El made nap dates up a while ago. It's basically a sleepover but not overnight, you get me?
Whenever we wanna have a nap date, you just bring pyjamas in your bag or borrow the other person's and we just cuddle and sleep.

It sounds boring but after a long day at school it's honestly the best. Plus, El gives the best cuddles.

Sometimes we go on bike rides together, or treks through the woods. Or we'd just go to El's cabin and watch a movie while eating snacks.

Whatever we do, I love it. I love it so much, because El makes me feel safe. I feel safe in her arms, I feel safe beside her, and I even feel safe in her presence.

I never believed in love. My mum and Neil clearly failed that aspect of life. But ever since I asked El out my thoughts changed.

Yeah, I asked her out coz I liked her, but I never thought we'd last this long. I always thought dating someone was because you had a little crush, but now I realise it's so much more than that.

When you date someone you really love, you connect in a way unique to anything else. It's as if you sort of become that person in a way. You can sense how their feeling, you can see what they want to do.

Unfortunately Hopper doesn't let me stay over every night, which is understandable. He goes crazy over the 3 inch rule, which I will admit we've broken many times.

But it's alright, whenever I go home after our date I feel way happier. My thoughts are full of El and what tomorrow holds.

So, I wanted to say. El, thank you for making me feel safe when no one else has. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to, for giving me that reason to keep going.

I loved her yesterday, I love her today, and I will definitely love her tomorrow.

Thank you for being my safe space El.

645 words

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