First love

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El's POV:
Max and I were at my cabin, watching a random movie on TV while the slow rain was heard outside.

Despite the peaceful atmosphere, many thoughts were racing through my mind, and not all of them we good. A big one was standing out to me. I've seen many movies where 2 people fall in love and it seems to be amazing until suddenly it all comes crashing down.

I've also noticed how normally that seems to be the case for people who are in their first relationship, I think it's because they're not sure on how to be in one.

And that isn't such a good thing to be reminded of since I'm in my first relationship with Max, and she's in her first relationship with me.

Everything is honestly amazing with her, I promise I'm not complaining. But sometimes I get afraid of maybe saying the wrong thing, or maybe even doing something wrong. Because that might send everything crashing down, just like the movies.

I've never loved someone like I love Max. She's everything I want and more. I've fallen in love with her and she makes sure I know she feels the same way.

Or perhaps we'll be together forever, but then I wouldn't have much experience and wouldn't know how to treat her as well as I can be. But I don't want to be with someone else to learn and what if there's someone out there who is a better girlfriend for her?

Oh god that's so much worse. I should just keep these sort of questions to myself, or maybe I should just tell her...

"Does it ever scare you that we might not break up?" I suddenly asked, my heart beating fast as I heard myself.
"What?" Max replied, looking at me.
"Like if we just... stay together." I continued, hoping I wasn't just throwing everything away.
"Why would that scare me?" She frowned.

"Well this is my first relationship. It's your first too."
"I don't understand." She said.
"What if we never find a reason to end things? If we stay together forever and never be with anyone else."

She stayed silent for a moment, desperately scanning my face. "...do you wanna break up?"
My heart dropped, "No no no. I didn't say that." I assured her quickly, "But let's say we're soulmates, you're never gonna be with someone else."

She shuffled closer to me, "Should that scare me? To me that sounds amazing."
I sighed, "I just feel like since we met so early, we're already screwed. Your first relationship is rarely your last."
She gave me a small smile, "We aren't screwed. Just because it's rare doesn't mean it's impossible."

"But it's realistic. Don't you feel like you'd miss out on a lifetime of loving if you've only loved one person throughout it all?"
"No, I'd feel lucky. Happy that I could love my soulmate for my entire life. Why would I waste time loving others when I could just wind up with one person?" She asked.

"But that's just a life of the same love with the same person. What if you get bored or something?"
She held my hands in hers, "When you're with the right person, life is never boring."
"...you're right." I answered.
"Was this your way of ending things? Are you bored with me?" She asked quietly.

"No, not at all. I just..."
"What?" She urged.
I looked at her, "I really love you."
"That's a good thing El." She smiled softly.
"But that's why I wish we met later in life. That way we'd end up together."

She chuckled and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I believe we were made for each other love. I really do. I've never felt this way for anyone before." She said. She pulled away and smiled as she kept her hands on my shoulders. "And look, I don't want you to worry about anything like that, okay? I love you more than anything. And I've never felt loved like I do with you."

I sniffed, tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright, it's okay to worry El. It's completely normal." Max assured me, rubbing my back as I fell into her arms. "I love you."
"I love you too."

728 words

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