Oneshots: Elmax / Sillie

A letter for El <3

Hey Ellie.
If you're reading this, I guess the plan failed, or maybe something else happened. But I'm not here to write about the bad, instead I'm here to write about the good.

July 2nd, 1985, the day you finally spoke to me. The day you first went shopping, the night of our first sleepover. That day will always have a special place in my heart, and I'll never forget the memories we made. Now that I think over it, that day is when I felt my happiest.

No thoughts of Billy. No thoughts of Neil. No thoughts of my mum, or even the boys.

Instead my thoughts were full of you. How your soft hand felt in mine, how I wish I could get an image of your gorgeous eyes permanently imprinted into my mind. The sound of your contagious laughter filling my ears, the way you could light up an entire room with just your perfect smile.

I'd replay that day again and again if I could, it'd be more enjoyable than this song I've been forced to listen to non-stop.

I really wish you were here El. You don't know how much I've missed you since you and the Byers left for California.

Sometimes I wake up and the smell of freshly-toasted eggos reach my nose, but I know it's all a dream.

I used to wait for you to call, I was way too scared to do it myself. I mean, what if you wanted to put your old life behind you? I wouldn't blame you.

I've moved into a trailer now though, and I can't afford to call people anymore. But that doesn't mean I've given up hope. Instead it gets stronger with each passing day. For each night that passes, I'm one morning closer to being reunited with you.

I know it's cheesy, but you once left the boys for over a year and came back, so what's to say it won't happen again?

My heart lights up and a smile creeps onto my face at every mention of you, which is increasingly becoming rarer and rarer these days.

I know what Vecna wants to do to me. But I'll keep fighting. I'll fight until my body can't take anymore, because I'm not leaving this Earth without seeing your beautiful face one more time.

I believe that if you were still here, we'd have a sleepover every weekend. We'd laugh until our stomachs hurt, and we'd cry until we don't have any tears left. But that's okay. Whenever I'm with you I feel like I can be myself. I know you won't judge me, and you know I wouldn't judge you either.

I'd let you talk about Hopper, and you'd listen to me talk about Billy. I wouldn't have to keep it all inside and be forced to speak to the councillor, because instead I'd be able to talk to you, and I want to do that.

We'd both be able to get better together, now matter how long it takes. And I've realised that I can't get better without you El. No matter how hard I try. No matter how long I spend crying in the bathroom, no matter how many nightmares I get, no matter who I talk to or what I do, I can't do it without you.

So please come home. I need you back with me, back with us.

If I do manage to see you before he takes me, I'd hold you close, and tell you the words that have been too frightened to leave my lips even after all these years.

I'd tell you that I love you. And it'd be nothing but the complete and utter truth.

I love you El. I love your smile, I love your eyes, I love your voice, I love your laugh, I love your personality, god I love everything about you. I love you in more than just a friend way, and even if you don't feel the same, I'm glad I got the honour of being your best friend.

And if something has happened to me, please don't feel guilty. I know how you get when something bad happens, but I'm begging you El. I don't want to break your precious heart, I don't want tears to be the reason your eyes sparkle.

Instead I want you to think of all our happy memories together.

I've gotta go Ellie, but I want you to promise me. And you never break promises. Please promise me you won't blame yourself for anything that happens to me.

I'm scared El, I really am. I don't want to die, I don't want to be cursed any longer, but I'm gonna keep looking for you. Even if it means I only get a moment with you.

But I know I don't have long left. So I hope we get to see each other again, whether it's in this life or the next.

I love you so much El. Thank you for saving me all those months ago. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to on these dull, everlasting days. Thank you for giving me a reason not to give up.

No matter where you are or what happens, you're always gonna be my superhero.

Love from,
your Max <3

892 words