You Saw Me

2

I was twenty six years old when we got married. I was happy and in love and looking forward to starting a family with Adam. But it wouldn't happen for us. We went through years of treatment, but luck wasn't with us. We leaned on each other and focused on fulfilling other dreams. Adam's practice was his baby. He loved his career and his patients were his main focus. He wrote articles for the American Journal of Orthodontics and was a renowned and respected orthopedic surgeon. 

I wrote short stories for a while, but I never got them published. In the end I put writing aside and started working in Adam's practice. I welcomed patients, took care of paperwork and managed the website. I was happy to put my own career on hold to support the practice Adam was building and I took great pride in being part of his dream.

Being Adam's wife was my main focus. I was a shy and anxious girl when I met him, but during our marriage I felt safe. I always felt that he saved me from the moment he saved my bag. I loved him and needed him. He was my first real love and the only man I had ever been intimate with. I had kissed others during high school, but it had never gone further than that. And I was okay with it. I was content and happy with being Mrs. Ellie Parsons. 

When I turned forty I felt I was at a good place in life. True, the writing career never really took off for me and we were unable to have children, but we had a good life. We lived in a beautiful home fitting for a Dr. and Mrs. We had a wide circle of friends and aquaintances. My very best friends from college were a huge part of my life. We all ended up living in Scarsdale and remained a tight-knit group. To their kids, I was Auntie Ellie. It gave me joy to have kids in my life, even if they weren't my own.

We had a lot of fun. Adam appeared to be so serious, but when all came to all he was a big goofball. He would laugh at me when I sat at night knitting sweaters and watching true crime on Netflix, but I could tell that he found it kind of adorable. At least I thought so. 

Fourteen years of marriage started creaking when Adam's phone started vibrating late at night. It would begin shortly after we had said goodnight. I'd be drifting off to sleep when the vibrating would disturb me. In the beginning I didn't give it much thought. It was probably just a notification or one of the guys sending a meme. But after a while I started feeling anxious at the regularity of the messages. When I worked up the courage to ask him about it, he dismissed it and said it was sports results. 

I wanted to believe him. I had never had any reason not to, so why begin now? Rationally, I had no good reason to look at his phone when he went to take a shower. But the overwhelming alarm at the back of my mind wouldn't stop blaring. 

Her name was Aliza - with a z. He met her at the orthodontics conference he attended a little while ago and he was in love with her. She had just turned twenty seven, loved hiking, doing cross-fit and rock climbing. She was my complete opposite. 

And right there my world fell apart.