You Saw Me

6

At exactly 7.30 PM Gayle's car came to a halt in front of the town house. In the back seat Ana and Sarah were crammed together holding each their suitcase and looking awfully uncomfortable. Gayle's Porsche Carrera Cabriolet really wasn't very practical when it came to transporting several people and their luggage. I couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of me. The girls were completely invisible behind their suitcases. In the driver's seat Gayle was applying lipstick in the rear-view mirror. She was wearing a big straw hat and looked fabulous. 

"Are you sure you got room for one more?" I said with a giggle. 

"Certainly! Just put your suitcase somewhere", Gayle gestured towards the back of the Porsche. 

"Good luck", Ana huffed behind her big, grey suitcase, which made me laugh out loud.

I ended up holding my suitcase in my lap all the way to the airport. It must have been quite a sight for the people we passed on the highway. 

***

Everything went smoothly in the airport and soon we settled in to our seats and embarked on the 6 hour flight from New York to Anguilla. We enjoyed coctails and first-class privileges and for the first time in a really long time, I felt excited about travelling. I had travelled a lot with Adam, but it was often to go hiking, cycling or some other adventure that required me getting out of bed early. I really just wanted to go to the beach, lie down on a sun bed and read a book. Or listen to podcasts and drift off to sleep. Adam always wanted to be active and didn't care much for just lounging and relaxing. So I had always compromised with what I really felt like doing, because I wanted Adam to be happy. Somehow I forgot what would make me happy.

Sarah sat next to me on the flight. We knew each other through Gayle. She was divorced, like me. Her divorce had been a nasty one where they weren't able to settle out of court. Luckily she was well represented by a top-notch lawyer from her dad's firm, so things had settled in her favour. She had a teenage daughter, Katelyn, who lived with her every other week and who had had a hard time with her parents splitting up. I had been a part of Katelyn's life since her birth and we got along really well. She called me Auntie Ellie like Gayle's and Ana's kids. 

"Gayle's nuts for doing this, but my goodness I needed it!", Sarah whispered and giggled. 

"Me too..." I whispered while taking a swig of the champagne I'd been handed by our stewardess. 

In the seats opposite the aisle Ana and Gayle were discussing whether or not we needed one or two taxis from the airport when we arrived. It was amusing to hear them bicker about who would sit with their suitcases in their laps, and if it was possible to stack our suitcases on the roof of the taxi. Ana had been my roommate in college. She was a tall athletic woman with the quickest wit. She always made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. She came out as gay when she was in her late twenties. Before she came out she was in a relationship with a guy named Elliot, who she knew she loved, but it wasn't romantically. They had a son together, so they remained friends and mastered co-parenting. Ana ended up meeting a Hungarian ballet dancer named Isobel when she started working as a physiotherapist.

"So two single gals and two married gals go on a trip together... That sounds like the beginning of a horrible joke", Ana commented trying to get out of the taxi debate. 

"I bet there'll be lots of opportunities for you two to meet someone", Gayle agreed. She was the matchmaking type and thoroughly enjoyed setting people up on dates. However she hadn't suggested any matches to me yet, which was probably because she wanted to protect me. I caught her eye and she smiled gently as if to signal that she knew I wasn't there yet. 

I wasn't there at all. As far as I was concerned I would never be with anyone ever again.