Ellie has just turned forty when her husband of fourteen years announces that he's met someone new.
This sends Ellie into a deep depression that only her friends can help her out of. They invite her on a girls' trip to the Caribbean. The goal of th...
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Adam's doctor came around to explain what they knew by now. He was aware of the awkward situation we were in, and he knew it was a sensitive matter. I was nervous, but mostly worried that the recommendation would be for me to have an active part in Adam's recovery.
"Right, Mr. and Mrs. Parsons, Ellie is here now, so it's time we go through what we know so far. As you already know, he has amnesia and doesn't remember much. He has both physical and psychological trauma after his head injury, and subsequently from the swelling on his brain caused by the crash. Adam can't walk yet, there is minimum activity in his feet and legs, but that can be trained. He's looking at intensive physiotherapy and rehabilitation in a center for people with neurological damage. He will not be able to manage on his own any time soon, if ever." The doctor paused for a moment to let us digest the first part of the evaluation. He looked from one to the other to assess if we were with him so far.
"There are a lot of unknown factors still. We have only begun charting the level of injury his brain has suffered. Adam just woke, which means a lot is still unknown to us, but it also means that Adam might do better day by day. It is impossible to predict and all we know is that it's going to be very hard work, and Adam is going to need all the support, he can get".
I cleared my throat, getting ready to ask how involved I needed to be in said support. Lucy beat me to it: "And whose support does he need?" She was looking at me, making it clear to the doctor, that she was referring to me.
The doctor nodded and bit the top of his pen. "Well, Mrs. Parsons, the thing is that Adam isn't married to Ellie anymore. And letting him think that he is, is unkind to him and to Ellie. He becomes excessively angry when we remind him that he is divorced. But that is not for Adam to decide, because whether he wants to admit it or not, that is the reality of his life. And to answer your question, he needs support from family and friends, but to draw Ellie further into it is unrealistic and unfair. To both parts". He nodded at me, saying the last part. "He needs to be in the right treatment programme, being supported by the people who are a logic part of his present life. We wouldn't drag an old English teacher in, if that was a person he remembered; the same goes for Ellie. I take it you were not in much contact up until the crash?"
I shook my head. "No contact at all, actually. We hadn't seen each other since the settlement and that was almost a year ago", I explained.
Dan and Lucy looked so helpless and old, sitting there listening to the fate of their son. I felt sorry for them, for the task that lay ahead of them. But I also felt that no matter what, I was not going to be a part of it.
"I think what I need to say is..." I started my sentence, but was overwhelmed with nausea from all the nerves. I had to run out to the ladies room to vomit. Lucy came after me and waited for me outside of the toilet stall. She put her hand on my shoulder and patted my hair when I came out to drink some water and rinse my mouth.
"Are you alright, Ellie?" She asked, obviously very concerned about me. I nodded and took her hand, following her back to the room we were in before. The doctor asked if I was alright, and I nodded. I sat back down and started my sentence again.
"I'm sorry. I'm very nervous", I started, feeling a little weak and unwell. "The thing is, Adam and I, we're through. I don't wish him any harm, but I can't be an active part in his recovery. When we settled things, we severed all ties. I feel so sorry for what has happened and what he is going through, but my life is not tied to his anymore. I hope you will understand, if not now, then at least sometime".
The doctor nodded and exchanged a knowing smile with me. I wondered how often he experienced this sort of conflict, where someone had forgotten they were divorced.
Dan spoke first. "We can't blame you, Ellie. It's just so difficult to see him like this. The way he gets angry, when we say you're not his wife anymore. It's like we're breaking his heart over and over again, without him understanding that he did it himself".
Lucy sniffled and nodded, agreeing with Dan. "Ellie, we understand, we do", she added.
The doctor took over, weighing in with a constructive suggestion: "We need you, Ellie, to go in and talk to Adam. He needs to hear why you are divorced and for you to say goodbye". The doctor was looking me in the eyes. "Can you do that?"
I swallowed hard, feeling nauseous again. It felt like I had to be the villain, walking in to my ex-husband's hospital room, where he was recovering from a near fatal head injury, to tell him how he had ruined our marriage, and he couldn't remember any of it.
"Can I please bring someone in with me?" I asked. The doctor looked at Dan and Lucy, gesturing to them and I shook my head. I needed Henry.
