You Saw Me

24

We spent a full day in his bed. When we weren't making love or making out we were talking about anything and everything. 

When Henry touched me, all doubt about my feelings and our future evaporated. His touch was warm and soft, but at the same time he took charge and guided me into unknown territory. The many years of scheduled sex to conceive a baby meant my sexlife had become a thing of necessity rather than one of passion. I had come to expect the same procedure every time Adam and I were intimate, and I would never have admitted it back then, but I was bored. Being with Henry was anything but boring. He would find new ways to please me and I would end up surprised at the sensation he left me with. His attention to me was the biggest turn on, because it was obvious that my pleasure mattered to him. It wasn't a race to his own satisfaction, but he very clearly got off of me reaching my climax.  

"How are you feeling?" he asked after catching his breath. He was lying on his side next to me, naked and beautiful. 

"Fantastic. Fulfilled. Satisfied", I said out of breath with my hand on my heart, feeling how hard it was beating. "Alive". 

He smiled and kissed me, softly and long. "That's all I want", he said as he put his hand on my chest and felt my heart beat. "Want to join me in the shower?"

***

Jeff came over to the beach house so we could make plans. He said that everything would be alright, but we needed to talk about how we wanted to approach things. Did we just want to date when Henry was in America or would I join him on tour? Would we be exclusive? Were we going to call each other girlfriend/boyfriend? It felt so bizarre and formal to talk about what we were in that way. I looked at Henry, who seemed to immediately sense my insecurity.

"We don't have to define things, love. What we need is like a... game plan. When we leave this island, how do we approach things? Like do we start showing up to things together, or do we try to keep things behind closed doors? And how do we protect you from whatever might come your way?"

I was having a hard time grasping the idea of needing protection. Jeff suggested if he might show me some clips and articles of some of the women Henry had been linked to. In a way it felt awkward to search for Henry's exes, but everything about this situation was different. The first thing that struck me was that all the women had one thing in common. They were hiding their faces, covering themselves with hats, hoodies or scarfs. The paparazzi were quite agressively chasing them, shouting things and generally getting in the way. And they were quite different from me; young, tall, model-like women with long limbs and beautiful features.

"Henry has dated mostly high-profile women. You know singers, models, actresses and so. Every tabloid in the world wants a cover story of Henry with someone. He's been labelled a playboy and a serial dater with a tendency to leave broken hearts in his wake", Jeff said with a smile, nudging Henry on the shoulder. "But it's gravely misunderstood. I've been by Henry's side for a long time and actually he's had his heart broken the most. Dating high-profile women might seem to be the easiest when you're in the entertainment business yourself, but often it complicates things."

Henry was sitting on the kitchen counter, his feet dangling. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with the conversation, but he smiled at me, I assumed to assure me that he was okay. I could not imagine how difficult it must be to meet someone when you were on a pedestal the way he was. How hard it must be for him to trust that whoever he met wanted him for who he was and not what he was. Supposedly that was why the high-profile women were a suitable match for him, since they themselves had similar troubles meeting someone with genuine intentions. 

"I'm unsure what to think of all of this", I admitted. "I'm just... Ellie. I'm forty, divorced, I work in PR as a copywriter and I live in a townhouse in Scarsdale. There's nothing glamorous about me, and to be truthful with you, I'm worried that the reaction from the fans will be one of disappointment, because I'm too old, too short, too mousy and too boring. I don't really see how we can make a game plan that strategizes us out of that". 

Henry shook his head and pulled me closer. "There is nothing boring about you, Ellie. You're wonderful", he said making me blush a little. "My worry is that you will be overflooded with negative attention. I don't want you to be sad or hurt by the comments people might make. I don't care about your age. That isn't what defines a person. To me you are amazing, I wouldn't change a thing". 

Jeff interrupted our moment and added: "That settles it. Henry, we need to start by following Ellie on Instagram with the verified account. On the 19th of November the Billboard Music Awards is on. I suggest that will be your first public apperance together."