You Saw Me

11

If I could turn back time to that night, I would. 

Meeting Henry, laughing, talking and walking home with him. He held my hand. We stood outside my condo, both were so shy. I was acting like a school girl even though I was forty years old. I took a step closer to him thinking I was just going to hug him goodbye. I stepped into his arms and he kissed me softly on the lips while holding me close. The kisses became deeper and more passionate. And those eyes. He looked at me as if I wasn't just Ellie, forty years old, newly divorced and a bit of a mess to be honest. The way he made me feel. The urge to touch him and for this night to never end. I took the chance and drew back from his kiss to extend the invite. "Would you like to come in?" 

He nodded and allowed me to take his hand and pull him inside.

And then the sudden realisation hit that I had never been intimate with anyone other than Adam. I tried to push the thought away and to get lost in Henry's kisses. Not to worry if I was rusty or inexperienced. 
He held my face in his hands while saying: "We don't have to do anything. I just really like being with you. We don't have to go any further".

The relief of having a choice meant I wanted to go further.
I slid his floral shirt off his shoulders exposing his muscular, tattooed torso. I ran my hand down his abs, tracing his butterfly tattoo. His skin was warm and smooth to the touch. His chest moved as his breathing quickened. I put my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. He pulled my dress over my head and left me only wearing a bra and panties. He traced kisses down my neck, along my collarbone, between my breasts and down my stomach.
He looked up at me. Those eyes... 

Suddenly I felt a little lightheaded and had to sit down. 

"Are you well?" he asked with a concerned look, while sitting down next to me holding my hand. 

"Yes yes, don't worry. I just got a little lightheaded. I'm a little nervous, I think..." I admitted as I gave his hand a light squeeze. 

He leaned into me and kissed my forehead. And so we stayed like that on the edge of my bed for a while in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable at all, but rather comforting. He kept holding my hand and sitting close to me. Every now again he'd caress my cheek with the tip of his nose. 

"I'm sorry. I'm being silly", I said in a small voice. He put his finger on my chin and softly turned my head to face him. He looked me in the eyes and said: 

"You are not being silly. Never apologise for knowing your boundaries. We don't have to do anything at all, I just like your company". 

There was that tingling feeling in my chest again. Just when I thought he couldn't get any hotter, he showed yet another attractive side. 

"Can we just lie down on the bed together?" I asked sounding more innocent than I wanted to. 

He smiled and scooted over, patting the bed. "Big spoon or little spoon?"

"Little spoon", I grinned and laid down next to him.