You Saw Me

82

I was lying in bed, hugging his pillow, breathing in his scent, doing my absolute best to fall asleep. Gayle had ranted about me needing my beauty sleep for my big day, and that I under no circumstances was to call Henry. I was to go to bed and go to sleep. She cracked me up when she went full mom on me. I loved her for being such a good friend. She hugged me and told me she was so happy for me, and that tomorrow would be her big day as well. 

"Sometimes I feel like you're more like a sister than a friend", I admitted to her. She smiled and nodded. 

"I know exactly how you feel, Elliepea. We've chosen to be family". She smiled and blew me a kiss as she left my bedroom. 

I laid in bed, with my hand on my belly, feeling the occasional little flutter. "We miss daddy, don't we?" I whispered and closed my eyes and imagined what our little girl would look like. Would she have his eyes and dimples? Maybe she'd get my freckles. I fell asleep thinking about her with her daddy, playing in the garden. 

***

My alarm rang the next morning, and before I knew what was going on, Gayle and Gemma were in my room. 

"It's your wedding day!" They yelled in unison and I laughed as I sat up in bed. I was feeling tired and I had slept uneasy, because Henry wasn't there. 

"You don't look well rested..." Gayle said with a raised eyebrow. "Have you had night visitors?"  Gemma laughed as I rolled my eyes at Gayle. 

"No, I just don't sleep well, when he's not here", I patted the bed where he usually slept. Gayle made vomiting sounds and Gemma laughed at her. 

"That'll pass eventually", Gayle chuckled and was already running me a bath. "Hair and makeup people will be here in an hour. I need you bathed and fed by then". I exchanged glances with Gemma and we chuckled at Gayle's mothering. 

"Oh I just remembered..." Gemma stuck a hand in her pocket and handed me a small box and a note. "He made me promise, I would give this to you when you woke". I thanked her and read the note first: 

My love. Hope this will go well with your dress. My heart is yours. - H

I opened the box and found a beautiful golden necklace with a gold heart pendant. It was delicate and perfect for my wedding look. There was a QR code in the lid of the box. 

"He told me you had to scan that", Gemma pointed to the QR code and smiled. I got my phone out and scanned the code. It took me to a site with a playlist. There was a video in the top, that said "Press Play". I pressed play and Henry's beautiful face was in front of me. He was sitting in his studio in our house. 

"Hi love. Umm...This is my album, Henry's Heart. My heart is yours and so this album is for you. You'll be the first to hear it and the only one to understand it, I think. Umm...I love you, so much. Thank you for seeing me and loving me. I just... I love you."

He was shy and lovely. His cheeks were blushing and it was clear he wasn't completely comfortable recording himself on video. 

Gemma handed me a bluetooth speaker and pointed towards the bathroom. "Seems like a good idea to get in the bath and listen to it. Gayle might come carry you out there otherwise."

I giggled and went to have my bath, while listening to Henry's Heart. 

***

The album was the most beautiful album I had ever heard. Every song made sense to me. They were all different and style-wise they changed all the time, but in the songs were things I had heard him say to me. Possibly even things I had said to him. There was a funky, upbeat song called "Scream My Name". That title kind of gave away what he was singing about, even if he didn't say it directly in the lyrics. Generally the songs were catchy and there was no doubt his fans would love them. He was a wonderful songwriter and he really wrote beautiful music. I was beyond proud of him. I could imagine him performing the songs live and people getting a kick out of it, while I would know when he had said the words and what they truly meant. 

The very last track on the album was called "Will You?" It was essentially a song of questions, like "Will you let me in? Will you touch me again? Will you say you love me? Will you stay with me?", all leading to the final question: Will you be mine? 

I smiled as I picked up my phone and sent him a text.

***

Glenne, Sarah and Ana had come to the house while I was in the bath. I came down in the dressing gown Gayle had laid out on my bed. It said "Bride" on the back. They were all wearing gowns that said "Bridesmaid", except for Gayle's that said "Maid-of-honor". I sat down to have a bite to eat before I was having my hair done.

My phone dinged, but Gayle held out her hand and shook her head. "Nope, miss. No radio contact between now and the wedding". I made a face at her and handed over my phone. I wasn't going to get on her naughty list today. Gemma found her phone and sent Henry a message to let him know that Gayle had taken my phone. Her phone dinged and she showed me his message

I smiled at her phone and mouthed a thank you. She winked at me and put her phone away. I was so thankful to have her as my accomplice. 

The stylists from Harry Lambert's team arrived at 11 AM ready to start styling us. I had my very own team, the ones who had styled me for the BBMAs. I was getting a half-updo, some of my hair would be braided and the rest would be loose, my waves soft and natural. Juán, the hair stylist started with a trim and then he braided my hair in a gorgeous french braid. He made it look so effortless, but it was the prettiest my hair had ever looked. I admired it in the mirror, my eyes slightly teary and I caught Juán's eyes in the mirror. 

"You are beautiful!" He said and squeezed my shoulder. I smiled at him through tears and thanked him for what he had made.