Ellie has just turned forty when her husband of fourteen years announces that he's met someone new.
This sends Ellie into a deep depression that only her friends can help her out of. They invite her on a girls' trip to the Caribbean. The goal of th...
My phone buzzed at 3 AM. Henry gently nudged me and I rolled over to find my phone on my nightstand. As always I checked caller ID. Medical center, it said. I quickly sat up in bed, a thousand thoughts running through my head, before I answered.
"Hello", my voice was sleepy, but alert considering the time. The adrenaline was coursing through me, as I nervously waited to hear who was calling.
"Yes hello, is this Ellie Parsons?" A voice asked on the other end of the call.
"This is she", I replied feeling anxious. My voice was trembling from the nerves. Henry sat up next to me in bed and put his hand on my arm, trying to calm me.
"Mrs. Parsons, I have you down as the ICE contact for a Mr. Adam Parsons, your husband I presume?"
"My ex-husband", I answered, emphasis on ex.
"Oh, your ex-husband", it sounded like she was writing something down. "Well, Ms. Parsons", she emphasized the miss, "I'm calling you because Mr. Parsons has been in a car accident and has been brought into the ICU. He is in a critical state and we need you to come in. Can you help us locate his family?"
***
I called Adam's parents, Lucy and Dan, and told them Adam was in the hospital. I agreed to come into the ICU to support my ex in-laws, who needed me, they said. Henry was supportive and offered to come along, but maybe that would be too awkward. In stead he would have his phone right by him at all times, so I could call whenever I needed him.
I texted Gayle, Ana and Sarah and told them about the accident and that I was going to the hospital. They all offered to come along, and I told them I would call them, if I needed moral support. None of them had any contact with Adam anymore, but they had history, so it was more natural for them to come and support me.
As I parked in the parking garage of the hospital my heart was racing. I had no idea what to expect. "Critical state", the nurse had said. But what did that mean? I walked through the hospital entrance and immediately spotted Adam's parents. They were sitting on a sofa in a designated waiting area. Lucy was crying, wiping her nose with a tissue. Dan was looking distraught. I walked up to them and Lucy jumped up from the sofa and hugged me tightly.
"Oh Ellie. It's so awful", she sobbed on my shoulder, seeming so small and fragile. I held her and smiled a weak smile at Dan, who got up to greet me.
"Hey there, kiddo", he said as he bent down and kissed my cheek.
I had a good relationship with Adam's parents. Actually in some ways it had been better than the one I had with my own parents. Dan and Lucy had always been very kind to me and part of me believed, they knew things weren't always easy for me.
"What do we know?" I asked Dan, knowing that Lucy wasn't in a state to answer my question.
Dan scratched his head and sighed. "Not much, to be honest. He was in a head-on collision, going too fast, possibly with a slightly elevated blood alcohol level". Dan seemed disappointed saying it. "As for his injuries, we don't know much. He was unconscious on arrival".
I squeezed his arm and nodded. So Adam had been going too fast with alcohol in his blood. That seemed very uncharacteristic for him, or at least for the Adam I used to know. He never drank much, usually took good care of himself and was sensible - well at least sensible enough not to drink and drive.
Henry sent me a message.
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I wasn't sure how long I needed to stay at the hospital. It felt weird being there, but it would feel equally weird, if I went home and waited for them to call me to let me know whether he would live or die. Even if I was done with Adam, I still felt I had to be there.
A doctor came around the corner, clipboard in hand. He was around my age, wearing scrubs and a white coat on top. His wore glasses and had a very earnest look on his face.
"Parsons?" he asked, while looking through the papers on his clipboard.
"Yes, that's us. How is he doctor?" Dan replied, while Lucy reached for a new tissue.
"Well, he has sustained a lot of injuries. He's lucky to be alive, as a matter of fact. There's trauma to his head, but at this moment we can't determine how severe. There's damage to his right lung and his spleen. We need to take him into surgery immediately", the doctor handed Lucy a tissue and looked at me as if he was waiting for a reaction.
"So, when will you know?" I asked carefully, even though I knew they would have no idea.
"We won't really know much until he wakes up. He hasn't regained consciousness since the accident, so I can't give you much at the time, unfortunately", he maintained eye contact a little longer than I was comfortable with.
He went back to the OR and we sat back down. I was feeling off, mostly because I didn't feel much. I felt pity for Adam and his family, but I was surprised at how distanced I felt from it. How clearly I had left Adam and our life behind me.
I checked the time. It was 6 AM. I decided that it would be okay to call Gayle now. She was an early riser anyway. She picked up on the second ring.
"Ellie? Did he die?" She sounded concerned.
"No, he's in surgery. He drove drunk and was in a collision. He's pretty badly hurt, internal damage and there's head trauma as well", I sighed and wondered why I wasn't freaking out.
"Oh dear. That sounds bad. What an idiot, drinking and driving! Sorry, that was harsh, how are you feeling hon?" Gayle cleared her throat and blew on what I assumed was a cup of coffee.
"I'm... I don't know. Numb? I don't really feel anything. I'm sad for his parents, and I feel bad for Adam, but... I don't know. Am I being awful?" Gayle would tell me the truth, I knew she would.
"Why would you be awful, Ellie? You drove to the hospital to be with his family in the middle of the night, no questions asked. And you don't owe him anything! Is his girlfriend there?" Gayle almost hissed the last question.
"No, it's just his parents and I", I answered. "Should I see if I can message her somehow?"
"Hell no! Tell his parents to get a hold of her and come home, honey. You don't have to be there. Not for them and not for him. Tell them that they can call you, but you need to go to work... You don't by the way", she added.
"Why do I feel bad for leaving, but I feel nothing sitting here?" I wondered.
"Because you are a decent and kind human being. But decent and kind human beings don't always know when to step away", she said, her voice warm.
"I really just want to go home to Henry", I whispered down the phone, so no one would hear me.
Gayle chuckled. "Of course you do. And you should. You guys have the Billboards this saturday, right?"
"Yeah, we do. I'm pretty nervous, but hey Hollywood here I come", I laughed, but stopped myself immediately.
Gayle noticed and said: "You are allowed to be happy, Ellie. This is not your responsibility".
