You Saw Me

99

A blue surgical drape separated my top from my bottom like a wall. It was a surreal feeling. Behind the drape doctors and nurses were bringing our daughter into the world. They were calm and focused, informing us of everything they did. Henry sat as close as he possibly could. His face was partially covered by a mask, but his eyes were sparkling green, focused on me. I tried to breathe calmly. He held my hand with both his hands and spoke gently to me.

"I love you, Ellie. In just a couple of moments, she's here", he had tears in his eyes, but I could tell he was smiling, overflowing with happiness. 

"Ellie Jr." I said and winked. 

He laughed lovingly and shook his head. "Never going to happen". 

Dr. Walters was performing the c-section. I could hear her on the other side of the drape, asking the nurses for things, explaining what she was doing. 

"Gently delievering the baby now", Dr. Walters said. "Clamp for the cord, please?"

We were both crying, waiting to hear our daughter cry. Somehow it felt like she wasn't really here until we heard her. One of the nurses stepped aside with her and Dr. Walters continued: "Checking the placenta and uterine incision site. All looks good, we can start closing up." 

And then we heard it. A loud, piercing cry. We both laughed with relief, tears streaming down our faces. 

A nurse came over and leaned down to talk to us. "She's perfect, Mr. and Mrs. Stiles. Looking healthy and beautiful. Good set of lungs on her too." He smiled and put his hand on Henry's shoulder. "Would dad like to come and cut the umbilical cord?" 

Henry nodded and dried his eyes. He removed the surgical mask and leaned in to kiss me on my forehead. "We'll be right back," he said and smiled at me through tears. 

It felt like forever lying there, waiting for him to come back. Behind the drape they were closing me up, Dr. Walters talking calmly, informing about everything that was going on. If I really focused, I could hear Henry talking to the nurse, he was sniffling and laughing. What felt like forever ended as he emerged from behind the drape, with a little bundle in his arms.

"Here's your mommy, darling," he said in a small voice, almost a whisper. He looked at me and smiled. Then he sat down and held out the little bundle for me to see and kiss. She was the tiniest, little thing. A full head of dark hair under the blanket she was swaddled in. Her eyes were open and she was trying to focus on everything around her. She had a cute, little button nose and the sweetest little mouth. She was beautiful. Henry held her close to me, so I could kiss her and talk to her.

"Hi, my love," I said through tears. "You are so beautiful. I love you." She squirmed around a bit and her tiny hand appeared from the blanket. I reached up to hold her hand and she gripped my finger.

Henry choked back a tiny sob and I smiled at him. He bent down and kissed me. "Thank you, love. You've made my dreams come true," he said with a smile, while tears streamed down his face. 

The nurse let us have a moment with our little girl, before they needed to do the final procedures on me. Henry was offered to take our baby back to our hospital room. There would be nurses to help him if he needed them. I suggested that he let Anne and Gemma come sit with him, but he wanted us both to be there, when we introduced them to the newest branch on the Stiles family tree. 

***

It took a while before I got back to the hospital room. The first thing I saw when they opened the door, was Henry sitting in a comfortable chair with our little girl in his arms. He smiled and made a hush gesture, pointing to our little, sleeping beauty. I was longing to hold her, and as soon as the transporters left our room, Henry got to his feet and brought her over to me. She made a little noise as we transferred her from his to my arms, but she settled straight away. I looked down on her, touching her cheek with my thumb and taking in my first moment holding her. Henry sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me. He smiled and put his hand on my thigh. I looked up at him, and smiled. 

"I love you, Ellie," he said and stroked my thigh. "She's beautiful, just like you." 

"I love you too. I actually think she might look like you." I caressed her little forehead and cheek. "What should we name her?" 

Henry sighed and shrugged. "The list never got very long," he chuckled. 

"I was thinking about Emerald? Emmie for short," I said, completely mesmerised by our little miracle. 

"That's really pretty," Henry said. "I like that. Emerald Stiles, Emmie Stiles." He tested the names with different voices making me laugh. "I actually really love that: Emmie Stiles." 

"Emerald like your eyes," I said and smiled at him. He scooted closer and kissed me. We sat for a while, just looking at our little Emmie, before Henry went to fetch Gayle, Anne and Gemma. 

***

They came quietly into the room, all three teary eyed. Gayle came up to me first and peeked down. Her face changed into the softest expression as she saw Emmie. "Oh my goodness", she said as tears started running down her face. "She's so beautiful. Congratulations, hon," she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. She let Anne and Gemma come closer and they were both in tears. 

"Oh Ellie," Anne said as I offered her to hold her grandchild. It was only right that she got to sit with her for a little while. Gemma held Emmie's little hand and congratulated us. 

"Have you decided on a name yet?" Gemma asked, looking at us both. We locked eyes and nodded. 

"Yeah," Henry said. "This is Emerald "Emmie" Stiles," with such pride in his voice.