Haikyuu Oneshots

UNFINISHED 🥀 Pathologically Afraid Trailer (Kuroo angst) 🥀

This book has been in the works for a while so here's just a short trailer? If that's the right word for the book. The scenes in the book do take place kind of differently but I didn't want there to be any spoilers. Keep an eye out for the book publishing soon.

Tw: s/icide , s/icidal ideation, fighting, drinking mention, smoking mention

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Sometimes I wish I was dead.

It only happens when my stepmother gets into a bad fight with my dad. Usually, I just get all annoyed and i complain about it to my friends, ranting about how much I hate them both. I fill my head with so much static that I can't even think. But sometimes, someone will reply to my messages with something like "Are you alright?" Or "I'm sorry to hear that..." and the static disappears.

Everything is numb and quiet except for the screaming and the hitting and the drinking and crying. My room's heavy smell of men's deodorant and air freshener fades away to the smell of cigarette smoke and I am reminded, that I am afraid.

I shake and I sob and shove my head under my pillow until I can't breath...but then my phone starts ringing, and I wipe my tears and press accept and Kenma or Bokuto or whoever's on the other side is none the wiser.

Well, they pretend to be. I know everyone knows. I don't really mind though. Their pity is appreciated.

.

I see my mother's face in an ad for some clothing store I don't care about, and it doesn't feel real. I know it's her, I could recognize that face from a mile away.

She's beautiful and smiling and it takes everything in me to not run over there and tear her apart.

It wouldn't help.

Maybe it'd help me feel better?

Who am I kidding. I'm just scared of her. I want her gone because that's the only way I'll feel at ease anymore. I want to peel back her skin and take a breath through her lungs like I've never breathed before.

I think I'm going insane.

God damn it.

.

"Kuroo, when I saw you before...were you trying to kill yourself?"

The cigarette he's carrying crashes to the ground and the flame extinguishes. It crushes into damp moss and he's left staring at me, staring, staring, staring like he couldn't believe that I was staring back.

.

"No just shut up—," He backed away, stumbling into empty boxes and folded up chairs.

I reached out to grab him before he fell but he slapped my hand away and fell harder. His face was twisted into some mixture of fear and rage. He didn't look like him.

"I'm just worried about you...," I murmured, letting my hand fall away.

I expected his face to soften—for him to apologize and ask me to help him to his feet.

He dug his nails into his face and groaned. "You're not—listening...! Just listen to me....,Kenma. Please...,"

He was right, I knew he was. But it still hurt—seeing him afraid made me scared too. Because I was scared that he was afraid of me.