StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

James

I feel awful.
Regulus was never at fault.
Why did I ever even partially blame him?
Of course he couldn't stop them, how could he? He's fifteen. I couldn't have stopped them.
I feel so stupid, I am so stupid.
I head back to my train car with Sirius, Remus and Peter, guilt eating away at me the whole way there.
On my way back to my friends, I bump into Lily. "Sorry" I say mindlessly
"That's okay" Lily replies, smiling up at me. I still feel a warmth when I look at her, like there are some lingering feelings, but I'm not in love with her anymore. I know that for sure, because I feel the same way about Regulus that I used to feel about her. It feels almost like I'm cheating on her sometimes, until I remember that I pined for her for over four years and she gave me nothing until I started losing feelings, since then she's been chasing me like a seeker on a snitch.
"How was your Christmas, James?" Asks Lily. She's cut her hair, it used to go past her shoulders and it was pin straight but now it's just below her chin and she's made it wavy, like beach waves. It suits her.
"Yeah good thanks, how was yours?" I reply, returning the question
"Yeah it was great thanks, nice to see my parents again, and my sister, she's got a boyfriend now, but I think he's dreadful"
"Oh really?"
"His name is Vernon"
"Now that is dreadful, criminal even"
Lily laughs at my joke, causing her nose to scrunch up like it always does when she laughs. I still notice the little things about her, thats how I know I still have feelings for her. "I like your hair by the way, it's a nice change, it suits you" I say, deciding that she should know she made the right choice with her hair.
"You think? Pet says it makes me look ten years older but I reckon that's just Pet being spiteful"
"That's probably a sibling rivalry thing, I think it looks great"
I notice she starts to fiddle with the curls in her hair when I say that "Thank you, James"
That's the second time she's called me James instead of Potter, maybe I've grown as a person, maybe I'm on first name basis now for good behavior or something.
"See you later, Lily" I state before walking away
When I finally reach the car I take a deep breath and put on my best performance of everything is fine.
"Merlin, Prongs, we thought the bog had swallowed you whole" Remus states
"Personally, I thought you'd fallen in, I was prepared to gawk and laugh at you stuck down the loo, would have made a fantastic joke for the rest of the year" Sirius adds
"Get fucked, the lot of you" I reply, a small smile playing on my face
"I'll have you know I said nothing" Peter states
"Yeah but you were thinking it, weren't you wormy?" I ask
Peter just smirks but stays quiet nonetheless "Seriously though, Prongs, what took you so bloody long?" Asks Sirius
"Well first I had to make sure I look good, this gorgeous face is a full time job you know, and then I bumped into Evans"
"Oh?" Asks Sirius
"Just small talk, she started it, in fact"
"Just as you're giving up on her she now wants to talk to you" Sirius remarks
"Maybe that's why she wants to talk to him, because she's noticed he's not a pining mess anymore" Remus replies
"Hey, I was not a mess!" I exclaim defensively
"Oh please, James, you would have pitched yourself off of the astronomy tower if she'd told you to" Remus replies dismissively.
He wasn't wrong, my pining for Lily was severe, borderline embarrassing actually.
"So, if it's not Evans anymore, who are you after now?" Asks Sirius
"Can a man not be happy on his own?" I ask
"I mean yeah but come on James, it's you, you're like...the Casanova of Gryffindor"
"I am the OPPOSITE of the Casanova of Gryffindor, Sirius, you're talking out of your arse"
"Well you could be the Casanova of Gryffindor, do you know how many girls would kill for a chance to be with you? James Potter, Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, they're practically on their knees for you, mate" Sirius replies
"Be that as it may, Sirius, I consider myself a feminist, I'm above objectifying women, and you should be too"
"Who the fuck has fed James' ego today?" Asks Remus
"Shut it, Moony. you're just jealous"
"The day I'm jealous of you is the day I've hit rock bottom, and I mean that with the utmost love and respect" says Remus
We spend the rest of the train journey talking and laughing as normal, but in the back of my mind all I can think about is Regulus and how I'm going to see him later at the astronomy tower, and he'll be all mine.
We get off the train and get on a carriage up
to the castle ready for dinner in the Great Hall. I'm starving, I didn't get enough snacks from the trolley and my stomach is rumbling to the point of pain, if I don't consume something edible in the next two minutes I fear I might die. Maybe I'm being dramatic.
"Merlin, Prongs, your stomach is making out like you haven't been fed in weeks" Remus remarks
"It fucking feels that way, I might keel over"
"Oh stop being so bloody dramatic will you?" Asks Sirius
"Yeah, that's Sirius' job" Remus adds, which earns him a slap on the arm from Sirius.
We eventually get to the Great Hall, endure Dumbledore's speech and finally get to eat something which feels borderline orgasmic for me considering I haven't eaten anything in hours.
After we've all eaten we head out of the Great Hall, but I spot Regulus and decide to take a detour
"I'll catch up with you guys" I say, leaving my friends and heading in Regulus' direction.
I grab Regulus' arm and pull him aside. "James, what are you doing?" Asks Regulus
"I really want to kiss you" I reply, before he can say anything I pull him closer to me and I kiss him.
"Hey, James, you dropped- oh"
I have never pulled away from Regulus faster. I look over and see Remus standing there with my timetable in his hand, his mouth agape, trying to process what he's witnessing.
"I-I'll see you later" Regulus stutters before quickly scurrying away.
"Remus" I say
"James you better not be doing what I think you're doing"
"If you just let me explain"
"That's Sirius' brother!"
"I'm well aware, Moony"
"You could have chosen anyone else, James"
"I didn't exactly choose him"
"This had better be some short term fling"
"Look, it's not a casual thing, I'm not using him for sex, I love him, I really do"
"Is this why you were so hell bent on telling everyone you were over Lily?"
"Yeah kinda"
"What if Sirius finds out? He'll kill you!"
"He's not going to find out, Remus, you're not going to tell anyone, I'm not going to tell anyone and Regulus isn't going to tell anyone so if my maths is correct that means that Sirius is not going to find out"
"Well if you keep snogging his brother out in the open he bloody well will"
"Remus this has been going on for months and no one has found out till now so I think I have a little right to be a bit confident in the fact that Sirius won't find out"
"MONTHS?! This has been going on for months?"
"Yes! I haven't let on a single thing and no one has caught us apart from now and no one would have if I hadn't have dropped my timetable"
"All I'm saying is that secrets tend to get out one way or another so just be cautious because this won't be the last time you get caught and if it's Sirius next time you won't be as lucky because he will not be as understanding as I am"
"Believe me, Remus, you don't need to tell me how my best friend reacts to things, there's a reason I haven't told him and that reason is that I choose life"
"Well if you wanna keep choosing life you'd better be more careful"
"I will never run out of excuses, Moony, I've come up with one every other time I've snuck up and come back late"
"You were seeing Regulus the whole time?!"
"See, I'm good"
"I'm just looking out for you, Prongs"
"Thanks, Moony"
We have nothing else to say on the matter and so we both just decide to head off to Gryffindor tower in a somewhat comfortable silence.
"Merlin, what took you guys so long?" Asks Sirius
"Yeah, we were able to get through a whole game of wizards chess before you got here" Adds Peter
"That's actually not hard, Pete sucks arse at wizards chess" Sirius remarks, throwing a smirk in Peter's direction
"Shut up I do not, you're just freakishly good" Peter replies defensively
"Hate to break it to you, Pete, but you just suck" I state, ignoring Sirius' question and hoping he'll forget he even said anything before we started talking about how much Pete sucks at wizards chess and then I don't have to come up with some stupid excuse.
"Seriously what took you so long?" Asks Sirius again.
"I dropped my timetable and couldn't find it for ages, Moony was helping me look for it but turns out it was just in my trouser pockets and not my robe ones" I lie
"Merlin, Prongs, how are you so ridiculously intelligent and shockingly stupid at the same time?" Asks Sirius
"Hey! Don't insult my intelligence, I just have a buffer sometimes" I say defensively
"You're lucky you're pretty otherwise that lack of common sense will get you nowhere" says Sirius, shaking his head
"Awe, Pads thinks I'm pretty" I reply with a smirk, earning me a shove off of Sirius.
Later on I sneak up to the astronomy tower as I have done so many times before. When I got there, Regulus was already there.
"Hey" I say softly, moving closer to him. I'm never close enough to him it seems.
"Hey" Regulus replies, offering me a small smile.
I kiss him as a greeting, loving the enclosed space, how close we are.
"Are you sure we should be here?" Asks Regulus anxiously
"If you're asking because Remus saw us then you have nothing to worry about. I promise you Remus isn't going to tell anyone, especially not Sirius"
"Are you sure?"
"100% certain, Remus isn't like that. He's trustworthy, a loyal friend"
"You know him better than me, I don't want ro judge, I'm just worried"
"And that's okay, you're allowed to be worried or scared, I'll never be mad at you for that"
"I told Pandora about us"
"Really?"
"Are you mad?"
"Of course not! Reg, this is great! I was worried that keeping us a secret from your best friend would eat away at you, I'm glad you found a way to tell her, I'm so proud of you"
Regulus smiles, blushing slightly. It's adorable when he's flustered. I always know how to turn his cheeks a slight shade of strawberry, and it's adorable every frickin time.
"I love you" says Regulus, unsure of what else to say
"I love you too" I reply, smiling at him as I snake my arms around his waist and pull him in close to me so that both our bodies are touching and there's little to no space between us; just the way I like it.
"Everything is going to be okay" I assure him, before kissing him yet again, and I truly believe that. I'm happy, I have want, things are going well and everything really will be okay.

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Hello there my lovelies!

Ruh roh! They've been caught! But it was Moony and we love Moony so we know that the secret is safe with him but it wouldn't be jegulus without some angst so i added that in for spice. I hope yous all enjoyed!

Have a wonderful day and stay wonderful as always!

All my everlasting love,
Blue<3