StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

James

I wake up to an empty bed and a letter on my bedside table.
Immediately I feel uneasy about the whole situation, but I'm not sure.
Maybe Regulus got up early and headed down to breakfast and the note is him explaining that to me?
Anxiety grows in the pit of my stomach as I pick up the letter.
The parchment is folded in half and my name is written in the middle of the top folded half in Regulus' ridiculously neat cursive handwriting. I nervously open the letter, not having a good feeling about it.
There's more than one page, there's around four and a half pages worth of writing, this cannot be a note about breakfast.
I run my finger down the side of the parchment and swallow thickly as I begin to read Regulus' words:

My Dearest James,
If I know you, I know this note has worried you, and maybe it should, but the last thing I want is for you to worry.
i have something I need to do. Everything I do, I do for you, for Sirius, for your safety, for his, for a better future, whether I'm in it or not.
One of us has to make it through this war, James, and it has to be you, baby, I just know it.
What I'm about to do could kill me, but it's something I need to do for this war, for you, for your safety, for everyone.
You may not understand now, you may not even forgive me, but in time you will. In time you'll learn it was for the best, for both of us.
The thing is, I couldn't leave without being sure I'd make it back and not leave you with something, so I'm gifting you this letter.
It's full of my love, my memories, my thoughts and feelings. It's words dedicated to you, so that in case I don't make it back, you have my memory saved in my words.
You'll have my love permanently etched into these pages and I hope to Merlin that that will be enough for you.
This sounds a lot like goodbye, and I hate to say that to you, so instead, we'll class this as a see you on the other side kind of letter, that doesn't sound as bad does it?
All you need to know, James, is that I love you. I have loved you since the day I started my fourth year, when I saw you on the train. That was the first time I ever truly saw you, before then you were just my brother's best friend and frankly, I wanted nothing to do with you, but then I really had a look at you, I saw who you were and you became my greatest addiction.
My words can never do my love for you any justice, but as it stands they will have to suffice, in case I can never show you how much I love you in person with the caress of your cheek and the touch of my hand in yours.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I know that if you lose me it will hurt, and for that I am so sorry. You know that if I could, I would live for you, but living for you won't save you and, James, I am so selfish, because I can't bare to live a life without you, so much so that I am forcing a life without me upon you. I just need you you to know I did this for you, out of love, not malice.
You know, my biggest regret is letting you go the first time I had you, because I never fully had you again, not in the way I once did the first time around, and I'll curse myself even in the afterlife for that.
I hope you manage to find comfort, happiness and love after me, don't stop living when you lose me, My James, because you deserve a full life of love and happiness and all things good.
The funniest thing about my love for you is that despite being a wizard, you were my bit of magic all along, always My James.
Loving you is my greatest achievement and losing you was my biggest downfall.
I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, and I selfishly ask that you don't spend the rest of your life hating me the way I love you because I do love you James, now, forever, and always.
I love you, James Potter, my sunshine, my light, my love, my life, my everything.
Always My James
See you on the other side, my love.
All my everlasting love, forever and always,
Your Regulus <3

It feels as though my world has come crashing down in front of me.
My hands shake and tears stream down my face as I finish the letter.
For a minute I sit there with my hand over my mouth as I sob.
Regulus is going to get himself killed.
I need to stop him, I can't live without him.
I scan the dorm room.
Sirius isn't here, but a letter sits on his pillow.
I grab the letter and head to the Common Room where Sirius and Remus are asleep on the sofa in front of the fire.
"Sirius" I say
He grunts in response
"Sirius, Regulus is gone" I say
Sirius bolts up and stares at me.
"What do you mean gone?" He asks, panic rising in his tone.
"He left me a letter saying he needs to do something and he might die doing it, he's left you a letter too" I say, holding the letter out to him, he doesn't take it.
"Read it to me" Sirius states, he isn't asking me, he's telling me.
So I unfold the letter and begin to read: