StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

Regulus

I'm back at 12 Grimmuald Place
Most people would say they're back home for summer, but I don't think anyone can call this place home.
The minute I get in, Kreacher takes my bags and to put them in my room, taking away my quick escape. Now I have no excuse to get away from my parents, I'll be forced to spend time with them.
We move into the drawing room and I sit on the sofa opposite my parents.
"Regulus" my Mother begins and I look at her, my entire body tense, unsure of what's coming next. She's such an unpredictable woman, it's exhausting. "We are having a family dinner tonight as a welcome home" Mother continues.
"How lovely, Mother" I comment, trying to sound normal rather than nervous.
"There is to be no mention of Sirius at all. He is no longer a member of this family" Father adds and Mother nods in agreement.
"Of course" I state, trying to keep my sentences short and simple so I don't accidentally say the wrong thing. They don't seem to notice, or if they do they don't care. Maybe it's better that way. "Am I to wear formal attire?" I ask. Mother nods.
"I've had Kreacher prepare your suit and tie for you, given that it is almost morning you should think about getting ready soon, Regulus. Tardiness is an unacceptable sin" Mother replies. I've barely been home and already she's reminding me that there are always consequences to my actions. The next six weeks are going to be the longest of my life. "You must tell us about your year at Hogwarts first, we are eager to hear of your academic achievements" Mother continues. Of course, they don't actually care about my time at Hogwarts, they just want to make sure I'm maintaining the Black legacy after Sirius tried his absolute hardest to besmirch it.
"My marks have remained at a steady level, I believe I am doing well" I reply. I feel like I sound like a fucking robot every time I'm home, I hate the person I become here, I hate what they do to me. I already can't wait to get out of this place.
"Well, but not exceptional" Father comments, raising a disapproving eyebrow at me.
"I was trying to be modest" I reply
"Hold your tongue. Modesty is not for the home. I do not believe you are telling the entire truth" Mother reprimands me. I already know she's about to use legillimency on me, she does this all the time, she thrives on invading people's privacy. As if on cue, she invades my mind. She doesn't realise yet, but I've gotten good at controlling what she can and can't see, so naturally I block all my memories with James and all of my memories with Sirius. Her invasion of my mind feels like my head has been dunked into a bath of ice and that combined with the effort of blocking some memories is causing my head to develop a splitting migraine.
She sifts through my year at Hogwarts, skipping past any social time and focussing on my studying, lesson times, tests and grades. When she's finally finished I feel like the vice that was gripping my head has finally loosened up, I feel like I can breathe again. However, the migraine resides.
"Well, your grades are above average, which is better than well" Mother comments, her tone unchanging. Even if she was proud I'd never know it. "Regulus you had better go and get ready, I expect everyone shall be arriving soon" Mother states, changing the subject. I nod, standing up, grateful for an excuse to leave the room.
I return to my bedroom and Kreacher is in there, ensuring my suit looks presentable enough for the family dinner tonight. I have a horrid feeling this dinner is way more than simply a welcome home dinner, but I decide not to think about it for now, my head hurts too much.
"So sorry, Master Regulus, Kreacher was just making sure Master Regulus' suit is good for the dinner Mistress is hosting" Kreacher says, his head bowed down.
"That's no problem, Kreacher, I don't mind, Mother has sent me up to get ready, is the suit okay?" I ask. Kreacher seems to be my only friend in this house, and he's an elf.
"Yes, Master Regulus" Kreacher replies, I smile and nod.
"Thank you, Kreacher, that'll be all" I state, Kreacher nods and apparates, disappearing from my room, leaving me on my own. I walk over to the suit and take it off of the hanger, slowly getting changed. I really don't want to do the whole family dinner thing, but the sooner I get it out of the way, the quicker I can go to bed.
I take a look in the mirror in my room to sort out my hair, make sure my parting is straight and no hair is sticking up so I look presentable enough. I make it downstairs just in time for people to arrive. The doorbell rings and Mother answers the door, allowing for Druella, Cygnus Narcissa, Lucius, Bellatrix and Rudolphus to walk into the house. We all nod heads at one another in acknowledgement, it's all we've ever done. We've never hugged or said hello. I suppose I'm grateful for it in a way.
We waste no time in heading to the dining room where dinner is already waiting for us. Mother sits at the head of the table, with Father on the opposite end. On Mother's right sits her sister Druella and next to her is her husband Cygnus, and next to him is me, then Father, then Lucius, then Narcissa, then Bellatrix and finally Rudolphus.
There is little conversation throughout dinner, people took some interest in Lucius' job prospects within the ministry then a bit further interest in Narcissa's NEWTs, but after all of that was established there was hardly any conversation. That's another thing about Hogwarts I miss, the constant stream of conversation. Here silence is the only constant. It's guaranteed. I hate it.
After dinner we move into the drawing room for 'drinks and socialisation' I believe is what my Father calls it, but it's usually just more silence. When we arrive in the room everyone takes a seat and my Father clinks his glass.
"Attention everyone, we business to discuss" Father announces. Everyone straightens up and all attention is on my Father. "As you know our son Regulus is the Black heir, which means he is an important part of this family" Father begins. I feel eyes turn to me and I begin to feel quite queasy because I don't know where this is going or why it's about me. "It is thus with great honour that we ask you, Regulus, if you will join us in bestowing the honour of the Dark Mark" Father continues.
I almost choke on air. Everyone is waiting with bated breath for me to accept the offer with gratitude. I can barely breathe. How am I going to decline this? I can't join the Death Eaters, I can't take the Dark Mark.
"Surely I can't take the Mark yet" I reply tentatively
"The Dark Lord makes no mistake, he is on the rise and is confident a war is upon us, he needs valuable followers such as the Black heir on his side" Mother replies, trying to keep her tone level in front of her guests.
"I am flattered but I don't think I can accept" I attempt to decline, my throat catching as the nerves take over. Father stands from his seat and looms over me.
"I. Beg. Your. Pardon?" Father asks through gritted teeth. I can tell my rejection has embarrassed my parents and I know I'm going to suffer the consequences of my actions.
"I'm sorry, Father, I can't accept your offer, I have no intention of joining the Death Eaters" I reply, unable to look him in the eye. Father slaps me across the face. Immediately my cheek burns up and stings, causing tears to well in my eyes. My hand flies to my cheek and I'm unsure of what to do or say next.
"You will bear the mark, and you will do so with pride and honour" Mother states.
"No, I won't" I reply, trying to sound stern, but I can hear my voice waiver.
"Get up" Mother demands. I try to resist but I know her tone means that disobeying isn't an option here, so I stand.
"Take the dark mark" Mother demands
"No" I reply
"Crucio" Mother spits with a venemous tone. I feel the shock and pain hit me like a ton of bricks and I can barely focus on anything else. There's a ringing in my ears. I think I might be screaming, but I can't tell. All I can focus on is the blinding pain encasing my entire body. I can feel myself writhing, I must have fallen to the floor at some point, I doubt I could remain standing through this level of pain. The pain is unrelenting, it's merciless, it just keeps getting worse, there's no source of it.
Suddenly, the pain stops and I can finally breathe again. "Get up" Mother demands. Her voice is so grating. I don't feel like I can get up. My body feels so weak, like the pain took away any strength and energy, leaving nothing but a dull ache behind.
Mother doesn't wait for me to even attempt to get back up before she hits me with the cruciatus curse again. Once more my body is being invaded by cruel, unrelenting pain and I'm writhing on the floor once more, absolutely helpless. In that moment, I loathe everyone in this room, everyone who is sat there, watching this happen and doing absolutely nothing to help. They probably all enjoy it, they're probably relishing in my screams and my pain, glad it's not them having to endure such torture.
I then realise that this is how Sirius must have felt at Christmas on that awful night when I had to send him to the Potters. This is the hatred he must have felt for everyone in the room, the unrelenting, unforgiving pain he must have experienced.
After a while I can't take it anymore. I hate myself for taking the coward's way out, but finally I concede "Alright, alright I'll take the mark" I say breathlessly after what must have been my tenth round of the cruciatus curse.
"That is the spirit we like to hear" Father says, finally satisfied.
They brand me with the Dark Mark and finally everyone leaves. The moment everyone leaves I head upstairs to take a shower.
Once I'm in the shower I burst into tears. What am I going to do? I can't return to Hogwarts with the dark mark on my arm.
Oh fuck, James. How is James going to react to this? Should I tell him now? Should I wait until we're back at school?
Thinking about James only makes me cry harder. I look down at my arm where the dark mark is and I'm filled with hatred. I grab a loofah that must be my Mothers, but I don't care. I use it to scrub my arm. Maybe if I scrub hard enough the mark will disappear, I'll no longer be a death eater and I can go about my life normally. So, I scrub my arm, and I make sure I scrub as hard as I can
I scrub my arm for what feels like forever but the mark is still there. The skin around the mark is red raw and my arm stings so much, but the dark mark is still there, not even a smudge. I slide down the wall of the shower and sob into my knees.
How am I going to get through this? What am I going to do if I can't get rid of this mark?

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Hello there my lovelies!

I know! A quick update?

I had some free time and I was excited about whether this fic is going, obvs not excited about all the angst I'm putting Reggie through rn but it's all for the plot so it simply must happen. Warning this fic is going to get real dark real quick bc we're entering war territory but it should still be good reading material and that's what matters! Anyways, I'll see you in the next one, until then have a wonderful day my loves!

Stay wonderful!

All my everlasting love,

Blue<3