StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

James

I return to Gryffindor Tower feeling rather empty
Regulus and I patched things up. Or at least, I think we did. There is part of me that knows he only agreed to stay with me because I practically begged him, but I can't lose him. I have to make it up to him.
I don't go to my dorm room, I can't even think of sleeping. I take a seat in front of the empty fireplace and stare at the ashes.
After about half an hour I hear someone coming down the stairs. I turn in the chair to face the stairs and see who is heading down. The person stops at the sight of me.
"James?" Asks the familiar voice of Lily Evans "Lumos" Lily says, lighting the tip of her wand
"Lily?" I reply
Lily continues to descend the stairs and comes and takes a seat on the opposite end of the sofa I'm sat on.
"What brings you down here so late? It's gone midnight?" Asks Lily
"I could ask you the very same question" I retort
"I asked first" Lily replies "besides, you look forlorn" Lily adds
"You're not going to kiss me again if I am are you?" I ask with a smirk and I can see Lily blush, turning her head away
"That was extremely poor judgement on my part, I promise I shan't lay even a single peck on you" Lily replies, holding her hands up in mock surrender which makes me chuckle "Now that we've established that, do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Asks Lily
"I think Regulus wants to break up with me" I admit
"Whatever for?" Asks Lily, sounding genuinely concerned
I explain the situation to her and by the end of it I am almost crying. Lily places a hand over mine in a consoling manner. "James I'm so sorry" is all she offers for comfort which is more than I expected.
"Thank you" I reply with a sniff "Anyway, what brings you down here past your bed time?" I ask, making Lily laugh. I've missed her laugh.
"Just a nightmare" Lily replies nonchalantly "But it's fine I get them all the time, I just couldn't get back to sleep this time" Lily replies
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask, she purses her lips and offers me a small smile before shaking her head "No, it's okay, it's silly anyway" Lily replies, waving me off.
"Lils, you can tell me, I'm not going to force you to, but whatever you have to say isn't silly, if it matters to you it isn't silly" I say, trying to sound comforting.
"Thank you, James" is all Lily says to me, I smile at her and nod.
For a while, the both of us sit together in a comfortable silence. I forgot how much I enjoy just being around her. I suppose I have missed her.
"You know, if I had have been like this with you earlier on instead of being a first class prick I think we would have gotten along a lot better" I say after a few minutes of silence, Lily chuckles, shaking her head.
"I think if we had have just been able to have a civilised conversation like this without you asking me out after every breath I think you would have been way more successful in your endeavours" Lily adds with a laugh
"I was quite unbearable wasn't I?" I ask with a grin
"Has the James Potter suddenly become self aware?" Asks Lily, feigning shock
"Maybe I have, maybe I'm getting wise in my old age" I reply
Another bout of comfortable silence settles over us for a few minutes. Lily shifts and I think she's about to get up and go to bed but when I turn to look at her I see she's positioned herself so that she's facing me.
"James, my nightmare was about the prospect of a wizarding war" Lily confesses
"So you've been told about that?" I ask
"Is it true?" Asks Lily, her tone worried.
"Well, in the summer my parents had told Sirius and I about a resistance group called The Order of the Phoenix, it's headed by Dumbledore, we attended a few meetings and Dumbledore has made it clear that it is wise for us to prepare for a war because it seems inevitable, so I think that by the time war does come, we should be equipped for it" I explain, hoping that the thought of us being prepared to defend ourselves is somewhat comforting to her.
"You joined this resistance?" Asks Lily
"I have yeah, Dumbledore explained that He Who Must Not Be Named is recruiting those as young as Fifth year students, he thought it was wise for the Order to follow suit to ensure He Who Must Not Be Named doesn't have a step ahead of us" I reply
"Do you think I could join?" Asks Lily
"I don't see why not, you are quite possibly the brightest witch of our age, the Order would be foolish not to have you, you should express your interest in joining to Dumbledore" I reply, I see Lily turn her head away from me in embarrassment at my compliment.
"I must admit, James, the one thing you have always been good at is giving compliments, you did always know how to make me smile" Lily admits and I grin
"What can I say? I have been told I am quite the charmer" I reply.
"Thank you, James"
"What for?"
"Just for sitting here talking to me"
"Anytime, Evans"
She smiles at me and then stands "I think I'm going to try and get back to sleep, you should try and sleep too" Lily states, I nod and stand up too
"You're right" I reply
"I usually am" Lily states with a grin causing me to smile and shake my head
"Goodnight, Evans" I say
"Goodnight, Potter" she replies.
With that, we both head up to our dorm rooms and as soon as my head hits my pillow I fall straight asleep, feeling much calmer than I was earlier.
The next morning I wake up in time for breakfast and I head down to the Great Hall with Pete, Remus and Sirius. We sit at our usual spot on the Gryffindor table and Remus immediately grabs four slices of toast, spreading a different spread on each one whereas Sirius heads straight for the bacon, Pete straight for the scrambled egg and I go for the pancakes. We eat breakfast in a tired, peaceful science.
I spend most of the day pretty zoned out, I'm still upset about my interaction with Regulus, about our relationship almost ending, but I also just did not get enough sleep last night so I just don't have the energy to focus. As I leave Muggle studies and make my way to the Gryffindor Tower for my double free, I catch sight of Regulus in the hallway, with a guy I have never seen before. It's a relatively tall bloke with messy black curls, horn rimmed glasses, a tanned complexion, a refined jawline, a guy that kind of looks like me. They aren't walking anywhere, they're just stood having a chat, and the guy is strangely close, his arm is leant against the wall next to Regulus to look like he's towering over him. I feel jealousy wash over me and I decide to head over to them.
"Hey, love" I say, placing a hand on Regulus' shoulder.
"Hey, James" Regulus replies before turning his attention back to the guy "Arlo, this is James, James, this is Arlo" Regulus adds, introducing us to each other. Arlo offers me a smile and presents his hand for me to shake. I take his hand, squeezing it firmer than needed but offering him a smile nonetheless "Nice to meet you, Arlo" I say
"Likewise, James" Arlo replies with a Scottish accent.
"How come I've never met you before?" I ask Arlo, curious to know when he met Regulus
"Ah, Regulus and I have only recently become friends" Arlo replies
"Interesting" I state
"Where are you headed, James?" Asks Regulus, changing the subject
"I have a double free, are you free?" I ask
"Arlo and I were just headed to the library to get some work done" Regulus replies
"Can I talk to you before you do that?" I ask
"I'll catch you in the library, Reg" Arlo says, sensing it's his time to leave as he walks off in the direction of the library.
"James, I don't want to hear that you're jealous" Regulus says before I can say anything
"I'm sorry, Reg, but he kinda looks like me, he has a nice accent, and you were smiling talking to him, the way you used to smile with me, you don't smile like that with me anymore" I reply
"We aren't exactly in the happiest place right now, James" Regulus says, sounding exhausted
"It just seems like he's making you feel the way I should be making you feel"
"Really? You got that from a small interaction you saw?"
"Well...yeah"
"Then maybe that says something about the way you should be treating me"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"See, you're turning this into a fight"
"I'm not!"
"Yes you are, James! I know when you're about to get argumentative"
"Alright fine, how do you want me to treat you then?"
"I shouldn't have to tell you that"
"Then how am I supposed to know?"
"James, I am tired of giving my all into our relationship and only getting the same back depending on how I act. I'm tired, James. I can't stay anymore"
"Fine, go to the library, cool off, we'll talk later"
"No, James, you're not listening to me, I can't stay in this relationship anymore"
"Regulus, are you breaking up with me?"
"It's barely even been twelve hours since you promised to prove to me that you want this relationship to work and so far you've proven to me you're not going to change at all"
"Regulus, please don't"
"No, James, you can't beg your way out of this one, you had your second chance last night and within twelve hours of that chance you have already gotten jealous over a glimpse of an interaction and you tried to pick a fight with me. I can't do this anymore. I do love you, and I will probably always have love for you but I meant what I said last night, James, it's killing me to stay"
"Regulus, please, I love you, please"
"James, don't, please"
"Then stay"
"Please stop making me stay. Please, let me go"
"But I love you"
"If you loved me you would let me go"
I'm trying so hard not to cry in the middle of the hallway but his words are sinking into me like knives. "Goodbye, James"
Regulus walks away before I can say anything. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, they threaten to fall before I can get to Gryffindor tower. I rush up to the tower, a few stray tears escaping at the crushing reality of what just happened crashes down on me. I bump into someone and mutter apologies to them and try to carry on but a hand clamps around my wrist "Potter? Whatever is the matter?" Asks McGonnogall
"Sorry, Professor, I'm fine I just- I have to go" I say, evidently not fine, but she doesn't question me any further as she lets go of my wrist, allowing me to continue to Gryffindor Tower.
I'm beyond grateful to find that the dorm room is empty but I still cast silencing charms around my bed as I close the bed hangings, wrap myself up in the covers and let out the most gut wrenching, chest aching sobs because I messed up, I messed up to the point of no return. I cry for the love I have lost, I cry for the irreparable mistake I made, I cry for the boy I didn't love enough. I let myself cry until I can't cry anymore. I let myself cry until I give myself a migraine and fall into a deep sleep.

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Hello there my lovelies!

Unfortunately I have had to break up Jegulus for the future events of this fic but it is still a Jegulus fic I promise I'm going somewhere with this. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I shall see you in the next one! Until then, have a great day, lovelies!

Stay Wonderful

All my everlasting love,
Blue<3