StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

Regulus

TW: mentions of vomit
Six months ago the Death Eaters swarmed Dufftown and lost in a battle against the Order.
Since then they have done nothing, the Death Eaters and the Order have been at a stand still, a cold war if you will.
However, at this current moment, the Death Eaters have a bigger problem, a sense of mistrust amongst them, which is why right now, I find myself in a cold, damp, dimly lit room, strapped to a chair with the Dark Lord and his snake- Nagini- waiting for him to question me.
"I believe you must be wondering why you are in these circumstances, Regulus" The Dark Lord begins, staring me down. I don't answer him, and I don't look away either, I'm determined to meet his gaze, to hold it, to stand my ground.
"It has been brought to my attention that there has been a question of your loyalty" The Dark Lord continues, seemingly unbothered by my lack of response.
"I remain ever your servant, My Lord, I serve you and you only, I am offended that my peers would think otherwise" I reply flatly
"Yes, I'm sure that you are, however, there is no trust in war, and so we find ourselves here" The Dark Lord rebuts.
He gives me no warning before he invades my mind.
It's no issue, I'm prepared for this, I've been training for this with Dumbledore for over a year now. I've practically perfected occlumency.
I lock away my memories of Order meetings as well as my memories of my meetings with Dumbledore and Slughorn. I tease The Dark Lord with memories of James and I before pulling them out of his reach. He grabs for one but I replace it with a fake memory. He latches onto it with a sense of victory and delves right in to it.
I'm sat on the floor of my dorm room with Barty and Evan playing cards
"Reg, do you have an Ace of Spades?" Asks Evan
"Go fish" I reply
Evan sighs and pulls a card from the deck before tossing it into the middle
"Evan, do you have a three of hearts?" I ask
Evan looks at me unimpressed before handing me the three of hearts
"I win" I state matter-of-factly
"Bitch" Evan says
"Don't be a sore loser" I reply
"Of you? Never" Evan rebuts
"Jealous are we? Wouldn't be the first time" I ask with a teasing grin
"You literally kissed my boyfriend?" Evan retorts
"Was he your boyfriend at the time?" I ask
"No" Barty replies, slinging his arm over Evan
"Right, well, stop whining then, plus the kiss was sub-par, you can keep him" I state, my grin widening
"Sub-par?" Asks Barty, a note of offense in his tone
"You heard" I reply
The Dark Lord grows bored of this false memory and swiftly moves on. I decide that I need to give him something that will be satisfying and worth his time so I offer up yet another fake memory, this time about Dumbledore, which the Dark Lord latches onto greedily.
"You asked for me, Sir?" I ask as I sit down in the chair in front of his desk
"I did indeed" Dumbledore replies, taking a seat behind his desk before propping his elbows on his desk and clasping his hands together, his gaze resting on me
"What can I do for you, Sir?" I ask
"Yes, I was hoping you would ask that. I heard from Sirius that you have taken the Dark Mark is that correct?" Asks Dumbledore
"It is, yes" I reply
"I want you to know that should this be something you wish to escape, I am happy to provide you protection and anonymity within my resistance" Dumbledore explains
"Thank you, Sir, but that won't eb necessary, my loyalties and beliefs lie with the Dark Lord" I reply coldly
"You know, Regulus, many years ago I knew a boy not entirely unlike yourself, he too set along the wrong path, he too refused my help, and it has not done him any favours. I implore you, Regulus, please, choose the right path, take the help that is offered before it is too late for you" Dumbledore states almost pleadingly
"I like to think that I'm capable of making the right decisions for myself, thank you, Sir. And as I said, my loyalties and beliefs remain with the Dark Lord" I reply firmly
"Very well. I shall leave you with a message then" Dumbledore sighs
"and that is?" I ask
"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it" Dumbledore replies
"Very well, Sir" I say before turning and leaving his office
The Dark Lord exits my mind and I feel a throbbing migraine take his place. I remain stoic, hiding the immense pain coursing through me.
"When did this interaction with Dumbledore occur?" Asks the Dark Lord
"A little under a year ago, My Lord" I reply
"And has he tried to seek you out since?" Asks the Dark Lord
"Only once more, but I shut him down all the same, My Lord" I reply
"Show me" The Dark Lord demands, invading my mind once again. It takes everything in me not to shout out in pain.
It hurts to conjure up another false memory, but I do it anyway, for everyone's safety, for James' safety. This time, I add a small twist to the memory, to get the attention off of me and focused onto someone else.
"Regulus, come in" Dumbledore greets, ushering me into his office. I step inside but I do not sit down
"Is this about inducting me into the Order again, Sir?" I ask
"I'm afraid it is, I feel as though you would be a perfect asset" Dumbledore replies
"My apologies, Sir, but my answer is the same as it was four months ago, I am not interested" I state
"I heard otherwise" Dumbledore retaliates
"From who?" I ask, frowning
"Arlo Reins" Dumbledore replies
"What exactly did he say that would make you doubt my loyalty to my master?" I ask
"He told me you would wish to become a spy for the Order" Dumbledore replies
"Why would he think that?" I ask
"Because he asked if he could do the same" Dumbledore replies
"Is that so?" I ask
"Indeed, unfortunately, Mr Reins ended up turning down my offer for him to become a spy, I suspect out of fear, but he recommended you" Dumbledore replies
"That is foolish of him, I'm sorry, Sir, but you're wasting your time and your breath, my loyalties have and always will lie with the Dark Lord" I state before swiftly turning on my heels and leaving his office.
The Dark Lord withdraws himself from my mind once more and the pain is worse. I chew on the inside of my cheek to help hide the pain and maintain a stoic expression.
No weaknesses.
"Arlo Reins" The Dark Lord says thoughtfully "are you close with him?" Asks the Dark Lord
"No, My Lord" I reply
"You are dismissed" The Dark Lord states. He flicks his wand and I'm immediately transported to the edge of Hogwarts grounds.
I feel sick and dizzy as I walk back to the castle.
By the time I get to the front doors of the entrance hall, I turn to the grass next to the front steps and throw up onto it, cleaning it up after with my wand.
I hobble inside, unable to walk in a straight line as I walk through the entrance hall, trying desperately to reach the stairs.
"Mr Black, are you quite alright?" Asks Professor McGonnogall. I shake my head which causes the world to tilt and spin.
"I think I need to go to the hospital wing, Professor" is the last thing I say before I pass out.
I wake up in the hospital wing and my head is still throbbing, but at least the world has stopped spinning at ungodly speeds.
"Regulus?" I hear someone ask, I'm still quite disoriented and I can't quite figure out who's with me
"James?" I ask
"It's Sirius" Sirius replies
"Where's James?" I ask
"Would you like me to get him?" Asks Sirius
I nod "But first, could I have some water?" I ask, Sirius nods and passes me a cup with a straw before he gets up and leaves to go and find James.
Minutes later, James is at my side and I offer him a weak smile.
He takes his hand in mine and kisses my knuckles before taking a seat next to me
"What happened?" Asks James worriedly
"Never mind that, James, look, I have something I need to say" I reply
"What is it, love?" Asks James
"You're in danger" I reply
"What are you talking about?" Asks James
"As long as you're associated with me, you're in danger, okay? The Dark Lord is on to me, he thinks I'm a traitor, and I can't run the risk of him stumbling upon a memory of you, no matter how good my occlumency is, I won't risk you"
"What are you saying?"
James drops my hand
"I'm saying I need you to keep your distance from me, James" I reply softly
"You can't ask that of me" James states, offended
"I can and I am"
"I won't do that"
"It's for your safety"
"We're in the midst of a war, Regulus, none of us are safe, I'm not having you put yourself in the name of danger for the sake of keeping me safe when we both know my safety can't be guaranteed"
"Is that not exactly what you did when you took that spell for me?"
"That was different"
"How?"
"That was a last minute decision to save your life"
"Yes, and this is a calculated, well thought out decision to save yours"
"You can't just shut me out again when things get difficult"
"James, I have to"
"No, you don't get to make that choice for us, you don't get to cast me aside, you're not breaking up with me again"
"I can't break up with someone I wasn't with"
James gapes at me, his mouth hanging open, a mix of shock, upset and offense on his face. He goes to say something, opening and closing his mouth several times but he seems to be unable to find the words.
"Please don't do this to me again" James pleads, his voice wobbling.
A lump forms in my throat, why is it always so hard for us?
For once I wish things were easy for us.
I wish we never broke up to start.
I wish I never took the Dark Mark.
I wish the war never happened.
I wish we could run away and never look back.
I wish a lot of things, that doesn't mean I get them granted. We can't always have what we want, which is why I have to do this.
"I have to do this, for you, James" I say, swallowing thickly past the lump in my throat
"No, no you don't get to put this on me" James argues shaking his head.
"James, I'm doing this because I love you"
"If you loved me you'd stay"
"If you loved me you'd let me let you go"
"I don't want to let go, I want to hold on, I want to hold on so long that when I'm forced to let go there are claw marks from the top of your forearm to your fingertips from my desperate attempts to hang on"
"You can't do that, James, it will only end in tragedy"
"Is that what you think we are? A tragedy? Is that truly what you believe we're destined for?"
"I think it's where we're headed"
James scrapes his hand over his face, unable to look at me. He huffs and shakes his head at me before he turns on his heel and walks away without a word, leaving me alone in the hospital wing to cry into my pillow.

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Hello there my lovelies!

First off we're on chapter 70 which is crazy!!
Also time skip!! And Reggie has mastered occlumency like the smart cookie that he is!
Okay so this chapter is important for future events because we see how Regulus can manipulate Voldemort and shape his beliefs and make him doubt himself and stuff.
But the invasion of his mind caused Regulus to have a moment where he realizes that he has a bigger part to play than he thought on both sides of the war which is why he immediately thinks he's putting James at risk which is why we have the sort of Jegulus break up but not really? Idk it's a messy one, they aren't completely broken up but they do keep somewhat of a distance (when they can) you'll see what I mean in future chapters, but we are coming close to the end which is so exciting but also kind of sad bc on the 18th of May it'll be a year since this fic was published so it's been a long journey but I'll be so pleased to see it finished because this fic is my longest one ever and I'm so proud of how far it's come.
Also we hit 20k reads?? hello??? that's crazy i literallly adore you all!!
Anyways let me stop yapping. I hope you enjoyed this one! I'll catch you in the next one! Until then, have a great day my loves!

Stay wonderful!

All my everlasting love,
Blue<3