StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

Regulus

TW: mentions of violence, mentions of torture, mentions of sick
I'm back in Dumbledore's office for yet another occlumency lesson.
"Today we will be focusing on creating false memories, these are completely made up, you have to use a lot of willpower for it, and it's not something I can talk you through, it's an entirely personal experience, so we'll have to see how things go" Dumbledore explains and I nod.
Dumbledore clears his throat and I brace myself "Legillimens" Dumbledore announces and immediately, I feel him invade my mind.
He sifts through my memories as always, but now i've gotten good at locking them away so there's not much of a selection for him to choose from.
I then manage to create a small window that resembles a memory, Dumbledore latches onto it.
Sirius and I are playing in the garden
Sirius looks about ten, so I must be nine here.
"Want to play quidditch, Reggie?" Asks Sirius, he's blurry and his voice is distorted
"Quidditch?" I ask
Sirius opens his mouth to answer, but the memory falls away
I scramble for the made up memory, but it's gone, in the midst of my attempts to retrieve it, though, I'd lost my focus, and accidentally unlocked a memory which, of course, Dumbledore immediately latches on to
I knock on Sirius' door quietly and feel the anxiety spread through me.
The door opens slightly and I see half of Sirius' face peer through the gap "Reggie?" Sirius whispers
"I was sick" I say, my voice trembling because I'm trying not to cry because I want to look brave in front of my big brother. The door swings open and Sirius pulls me in, engulfing me into a hug.
That pushes me over the edge and I cry into his shoulder. He strokes my hair and shushes me comfortingly "Hey, it's okay, we all get sick sometimes Reggie, would you like to stay in my room tonight?" Asks Sirius
I nod into his shoulder and sniffle
He leads me inside. I crawl into his bed and curl myself up into a ball on my side. Sirius crawls in beside me and starts rubbing circles into my back
"You are my sunshine, my lovely sunshine" Sirius sings quietly to me "You make me happy, when skies are grey. Oh please don't leave me, my only sunshine, please don't take my sunshine away" Sirius continues, singing the lullaby over and over until I finally drift off to sleep.
I should have pulled Dumbledore out of that memory a lot sooner, I could have, but I stayed in the memory for my own sake. I don't have many happy childhood memories, but Sirius singing that lullaby is one of them.
"A good first attempt, let us try again" Dumbledore states simply, and immediately he invades my mind again.
Once more, I create a small window resembling a memory and Dumbledore latches onto it. This time I try to make it more recent.
"Talk about cutting it close!" Barty exclaims as I rush into the Great Hall. His voice is distorted, the Great Hall is orange, and the memory is grainy, but it's something.
"Sorry, I overslept" I say, my voice unnervingly high pitched
"No shit, Sherlock" Evan replies, his voice robotic
"It's only breakfast" I say nonchalantly, waving them off, for some reason my hand has six fingers.
The Great Hall lightens to its normal colour as the memory takes shape
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" Barty replies in a sing-song tone, his voice slowly sounding more normal
"And I'm having breakfast" I retort
"Merlin, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed" Evan comments
"Yeah, the side closest to your bed" I rebut
"Ooo, not very friendly this morning" Barty states with a smirk. I roll my eyes and throw a grape at him, which he catches in his mouth.
"Better" Dumbledore states simply as he withdraws from the false memory.
"Good enough?" I ask
"No" Dumbledore replies plainly
"How much longer do you think I'll need before I get competent enough?" I ask, sounding almost restless
"Going by your progress so far, at least a few more weeks" Dumbledore replies
"I may not have that sort of time" I state matter of factly
"I know that, Regulus"
"So what are we going to do?"
"There isn't much we can do"
"I think we should have two sessions a week"
"I'm not sure I can accommodate that, Regulus"
"Then what is the point in me doing this if it's not going to make anything better or safer for me?"
"Patience is a virtue"
"There is no time for patience in war! You of all people should know that, you're leading the resistance! You know what? Nevermind, I'll see you next Monday"
I then turn and storm out of Dumbledore's office before he can say another word. What the fuck is the point? These occlumency lessons were supposed to help me disguise being a double agent, it was supposed to make things easier for me, to keep me safe, and now Dumbledore's telling me that I'm not quite there but that'll have to do?
I'm beginning to think that Dumbledore doesn't actually care for the people he brings into this war, that he doesn't care about our safety, not really.
It just makes me so angry.
So much so that I don't even see James as I collide with him.
"Sorry, Reg" James says, stumbling backwards
"No, it was my fault, sorry" I reply
"You okay?" Asks James with a frown
"Just peachy" I reply, an edge to my tone
"Somehow I don't believe you" James raises his eyebrows at me skeptically
"It's nothing, let's just drop it, please" I say firmly, really not wanting to explain the whole thing right now "Where are you off to?" I ask, swiftly changing the subject
"The Order Meeting" James replies, almost confused as to why I didn't know about it
"Order meeting?" I ask
"Did you not get the message?" Asks James
"No?" I reply
"Odd, neither did Sirius, maybe it's a select few"
I don't like the sound of that at all, I don't think that's quite right "Let me come with you" I say
"You sure?" Asks James
"Yeah, I just want to make sure that it's an authentic meeting" I reply
"What do you mean?" Asks James
"Let's just go" I reply
James doesn't question me any further. Instead, he just keeps walking, and I follow him. He leads me to a random classroom and I'm still not feeling right about this 'meeting'.
James opens the door
"Patricicus Totalus!" Someone yells
James hits the floor, frozen in place, I take my wand out of my robes.
"I told you he'd fall for it" the voice of Severus Snape rings through the classroom and it boils my fucking blood
"Well, not like he can fight back now" I hear Arlo reply.
Oh they're going to be so fucking sorry.
"Stupefy" I say, pointing the wand to Arlo, I turn quickly to Severus who scrambles for his wand, but has barely any time
"Wingardium Leviosa" I say, hanging him up by his ankle. I move him over to a table, where I drop him and he smacks into the table
"Patrificus totalus" I say twice over to both Severus and Arlo.
Before I rennervate James, I walk over to Snape "This is for being the biggest prick of the century" I say, stomping my foot on Snape's nose whilst he's essentially paralysed. I then walk over to Arlo.
"This is for making me love you, making me feel guilty for leaving you, for lying to me, and for hurting the man I love" I say before kicking Arlo's jaw so hard I hear it crack.
I then walk over to James "rennervate" I say gently, waving my wand over his body.
James sits up and pulls me into a hug.
"Thank you" He says into my neck before placing a kiss there.
"Are you okay, baby?" I ask
"I am, I wouldn't be if you didn't come with me. Merlin I feel so stupid" James replies
I cup his face in my hands "Anyone could have fallen for that, it was cruel of them, don't beat yourself up about it" I say softly "now, let's go before the spell wears off" I add
James nods and I help him stand up.
I walk James back to Gryffindor Tower, making sure he gets back safely.
"I'll see you later okay?" I say
"Okay. I love you" James replies, leaning in and kissing me
"I love you too" I reply, stealing one last kiss before turning on my heels and walking off, heading back to the dungeons to go to bed.
The moment I'm in my dorm, I change into my pyjamas and crawl into my bed, I get comfy into the covers and fall asleep rather quickly, which would have been nice usually if I hadn't been plummeted straight into a nightmare.
I can't move.
I'm stood in a classroom, a mere onlooker because I'm frozen to the spot.
"Finally, Potter, we've managed to get you alone" Severus Snape says with a sickening grin
"We've been trying to fool you for a while" Arlo adds
"Gentlemen, I'm flattered that you've put so much time and effort into seeing me, but you only needed to ask" James says with a smirk because of course he would say that
"Shut up" Snape states firmly
"Ooo not very nice" James comments
Snape points his wand at James and he's suddenly thrown back into the wall and is then held there by black vines that wind themselves around James' wrists and ankles, sticking him to the wall.
"What are you doing?" Asks James, his light and airy tone gone, replaced with a fearful one
"You see, Arlo and I are fed up of you and your attitude, you seem to think you can act against us and not suffer the consequences. We want to teach you a lesson, Potter, that you don't always get to play hero and not face the consequence" Snape explains, sounding and looking triumphant.
"Arlo, would you like to start?" Asks Snape
"It would be an honour" Arlo replies
Arlo steps forward "Crucio" he says lazily
James immediately begins to scream and writhe and struggle against his constraints
I open my mouth to scream, but I can't, I can't make any noise, I can't move, I can't do anything to stop it, to save him, I'm utterly helpless.
"Stop, please" James says breathlessly
"Oh you don't get off that easy, Potter" Arlo argues
"Maybe you could tell us something, and we'll consider stopping" Snape says
"What?" Asks James
"Is Regulus betraying the Dark Lord?" Asks Snape
I feel as though someone has dunked me into an ice bath.
"I won't talk about Regulus" James says stiffly
No, James, don't do that for me.
"You've made your bed, now lie in it" Arlo states vehemently
"Crucio" Snape says, relishing in torturing James.
Once again, James begins to scream, writhe and struggle against his restraints.
I try so hard to shout out, to make them know I'm here, to move so that I can help to stop the torture against him.
However, I just have to stand and watch as Arlo and Snape take turns in torturing James.
I wake up in a cold sweat, my throat feeling raw so I've obviously been screaming in my sleep again.
That nightmare made me feel nauseous, I rush to the bathroom and proceed to vomit into the toilet.
Once I'm sure I'm okay again, I stand up, brush my teeth to rid my mouth of the taste of vomit.
I then stare at myself in the mirror. I then splash my face with some cold water to get over the shock and fear of it all.
I finally let myself crawl back into my bed and I drift off into an uneasy sleep

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Hello there my lovelies,

Sorry for the lack of update recently my brain has not been braining like i just stared at the screen waiting for the chapter to write itself lmao.
Anyways there is a fair bit of angst here because why wouldn't there be? Like the black brothers angst??? the dumbledore angst??
But also Regulus defending James<<<333 how cute is that???
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this one! I'll catch you in the next one! Until then, have a great day!

Stay wonderful!

All my everlasting love,
Blue<3