StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

Regulus

I watch James leave and try not to cry harder.
I didn't know how else to tell him, I didn't know when to. I should have sent him a letter, let him process it before he got here.
The car door opens and I freeze, for a minute I think it's James, until Sirius sits opposite me.
"James told you" I say, he nods.
"How could you take it?" Asks Sirius
"Are you fucking kidding?" I ask, my hopelessness turning into rage
"I managed not to" Sirius comments
"Yeah thanks to me! I didn't have anyone there to step in and take the cruciatus curse for me and help me get to the fireplace so I could scurry off to my best mate's house!" I exclaim, Sirius pales
"You could have fought them" Sirius rebuts
"I DID! You weren't there, Sirius! You're never there! I needed my brother and you weren't there! They all stood there, watching, the lot of them, no one tried to help while I was being tortured. I could barely move by the end, if I didn't concede I think they may have killed me" I yell
Sirius is now pacing up and down the train car, tangling his hands in his own mass of long curls. "I don't know what to do, Reg" Sirius says, I scoff at him.
"You don't know what to do? Well, that's easily fixed, you don't need to do anything, Sirius, you got your get out of jail free card, this is my problem" I spit angrily
"Can you remove it?" Asks Sirius
"Don't you think I've tried? I tried scrubbing it off, that didn't work, I tried cursing it off, that didn't work and when I tried cutting it off it simply regrew" I reply, unable to look at him.
"Fuck, Reg, this is bad" says Sirius
"Well we've got a fucking genius here" I roll my eyes "I have a plan" I add
"What?" Asks Sirius
"I'm gonna work my way up in rank" I begin but continue quickly before Sirius can jump to conclusions and interrupt "When the Dark Lord trusts me enough, I can become a spy for the order, he'll think I'm spying for the Death Eaters, but I'll become a double agent"
"That's a stupid idea" Sirius states
"I beg your pardon?" I ask
"What if you end up actually believing all his shit?" Asks Sirius
"Do you truly think so lowly of me?" I ask, offended. Sirius looks bewildered but before he can defend himself I shake my head and cut him off "Actually, I don't want to know, you can go now, I'm gonna find my friends" I state, walking away.
I eventually find Evan, Barty and Dora in a car and I walk in, seating myself next to Dora. "Christ who shoved a stick up your arse?" Asks Evan the minute I sit down. I roll my eyes at him "Seriously mate, are you alright?" Asks Evan
"Yeah. Fine" I reply, my tone clipped
"Yeah you sound fine" Barty comments sarcastically
"What's up, Reggie, you can tell us" Dora says comfortingly
I explain the entire situation, deciding it's probably best if I get it off my chest rather than let it marinate, causing me to lash out later.
"Fuck, well, that's a plot twist I wasn't expecting so early on into the year" Barty comments
Too fucking true.
We arrive at Hogwarts soon enough. Usually I would be excited for the feast, to be amongst the crowds and the happiness, but I barely register it as I sit through it. I seem to zone out until it's time for us to head to bed and I mindlessly follow Evan and Barty down to the dungeons.
Evan and Barty head straight up to bed, they claim they're tired but I think they have other activities in mind, so I decide to stay in the common room for a bit. I take a seat in an arm chair in the corner and grab a book from the bookshelf. I open it but I don't actually read it. I just stare at the words. I have no idea how I'm going to fix things with James. I take a look around the common room and my heart jumps to my throat quickly because for a moment I think I see James.
Of course, it's not James, but the boy I'm looking at looks almost exactly like James. His skin is a bit fairer, and his hair is a tad bit lighter but he has a mass of messy curls on his head, just like James, dimples just like James and round horn rimmed glasses too. It almost hurts my heart to see him, despite the fact that I don't know him.
The boy sees me staring at him and he grins at me. I quickly turn my head, but I turn my head too late. Moments later the boy is in front of me. "Whatcha reading?" He asks, he has a slight Scottish accent that causes my heart to jog slightly.
"Er- that's a great question" I reply, my face growing rather hot as my mouth contorts into an embarrassed grin.
"Well, it must be riveting" the boy replies with a grin. I close the book and roll my eyes.
"I don't believe I have met you before" I say, eager to know his name.
"No most likely not, I've seen you around, I saw you at a couple of the meetings in Summer. I'm Arlo Reins, I'm not well versed on your name either come to think of it" Arlo replies, holding a hand out for me to shake.
He saw me at the meetings? So he's a death eater too?
"Regulus Black. I don't recall you at any meetings" I reply
"I believe you kept your head down for most of them, so I expect you wouldn't"
"Yeah I suppose you're right"
"I'm assuming you joining the Death Eaters was something your parents made you do?" Asks Arlo
I nod "Mhm" I hum
"Mine too" Arlo replies, his lips now pursed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling
"Parents can suck" I state matter-of-factly
"Mhm" Arlo hums. He then focuses back on me and his grin slowly returns. "I feel like I should be offended that you haven't recognised me from any of your classes, we've had a few together" Arlo comments
"We have? My apologies, I don't usually notice anyone else in my classes, I tend to sit with Evan and Barty and get on with it" I reply, Arlo chuckles
"It's quite alright, I hadn't really noticed you either. But I would like to see a fair bit more of you if you don't mind me saying" Arlo states and I blush
"Is that so? What for?" I ask
"Let's just say I like the look of you" Arlo says with a wink
"Am I mistaken or are you flirting with me, Arlo?" I ask
"That's for me to know, and you to find out" Arlo replies with a smile. I only just noticed that he has a refined jawline that compliments his face shape and his neck. I should stop staring at him. It's hard not to because he leans down, I'm almost sure he's about to kiss me, but he doesn't, he leans into my ear "Goodnight, Regulus" as he says my name he places a small kiss behind my ear and it sends a shiver down my spine.
Before I can say anything, he walks away, cool as a cucumber, and he walks straight up to his dorm room. After that encounter I find myself rather hot and flustered.
Wait.
I shouldn't feel that way.
I have a boyfriend.
Guilt immediately washes over me. I feel like I've just cheated on James. Of course, I haven't, I merely had a conversation, but when I was speaking to Arlo, I didn't feel sad or angry anymore the way I have been feeling since the incident with James, he made me feel happy, made me feel normal. I enjoyed his company, the same way I usually enjoy James' company. He made me feel the way James does, but Arlo didn't judge me, didn't berate me for a decision I did not want to make, he understood me, he related to me.
I barely know Arlo, and I should stop comparing him to James, I should stop thinking about the way Arlo is making me feel. Arlo isn't my boyfriend, James is, and I'm hoping I can patch things up with him.
If James is feeling even half the way I am I think he'll be headed to the same place, the Astronomy Tower.
I make my way up there, enjoying the quiet walk. When I arrive, sure enough, James is sat on the floor, his legs dangling over the edge, his neck craned up to look at the sky. I decide to pretend I didn't know he would be here to make things seem less creepy on my end.
"Oh, sorry, I- I didn't realise you'd be here, erm" I say, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Reg" James says, staring at me
"I'll go" I say but he shakes his head, standing up.
"No, don't" he says "I'm sorry about my reaction earlier that wasn't fair of me"
"No, it wasn't"
"Surely you understand my concern"
"The problem, James, is that you weren't concerned for me you were concerned about this meant for you, for your reputation"
"No, Reg that's not"
"Yes it is, James, don't lie to me"
"So you're not going to let me explain myself?"
"Go on then, enlighten me"
"I was just worried"
"Yes, you've made that clear"
"Why are you being like this?"
"Because all you ever do when my parents make me do something, or when I make a mistake is get mad at me, you never let me explain, you never try to understand" I shout, finally losing it with him, I'm done being a push over for him
"You're no better!" James retorts in his defense
"Wow you really are one for accountability aren't you?"
"Regulus, how is our relationship going to survive if we're going to constantly fight over things?" Asks James, sounding genuinely worried
"Maybe it shouldn't"
"I'm sorry?"
"If we can't support each other even through bad times then maybe it's a sign our relationship shouldn't survive"
"Are you just giving up on us?"
I don't answer
"Regulus, I don't want to lose you"
"I don't want to lose you either, James"
"So we can make this work then"
"James, I love you, but you know this won't work. I've taken the Dark Mark, you're a member of the Order of the Phoenix, every time you see that mark all you'll see is a Death Eater. You won't look at me the same, James, that's not a relationship"
I wipe away a tear that escapes me and I can see James is trying hard not to cry "Regulus, please don't do this, please don't go, let me fix this please" James' attempts at not crying have now failed and I can see the tears trickling down his cheeks which only makes me cry too.
"I don't want to James, but it's killing me to stay. I can't keep living through this cycle of a couple of happy months and then walking on egg shells the moment something goes wrong in case we get mad at one another"
James walks over to me and cups my face in his hands. "Regulus, please, I love you" says James
"I love you too" I reply
"Then stay" James begs
"James, please"
"I won't give up on you, on us"
"Then prove it to me"
"How?"
"Prove to me you'll love me no matter what and I'll know this relationship will last, but James, if you can't, then I can't stay, I can't put myself through it"
James simply nods and then he kisses me. "I love you. I'll make it up to you, I promise" James states as he pulls me in for a hug. I hug him back, but I feel like our relationship is more broken than it was before.
I don't know that we can fix it this time.
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Hello there my lovelies!

I'm back with another angsty chapter and an original character that's adding a spanner into the works! I hope you enjoyed this one and I shall see you again in the next one! Until then have an amazing day!

Stay wonderful my loves

All my everlasting love,

Blue<3