100 STEPS TO HIS HEART

CHAPTER 33

Nasa labas kami ng emergency room naghintay. It was Valentine's Day. Sina Mico, Venice, at Bryle pinuntahan agad ang parents ni Enzo. Ang sabi nila nasa ibang bansa raw kaya kailangan pa nilang ayusin ang kanilang pag-uwi. Si Chelsea at Miks naman nagpaiwan sa school, kinuha ang mga gamit namin at pinakalma ang ibang estudyante.

Ako, sumunod sa ospital pero nagpaiwan ako sa may labas kasi nanghihina ako. Parang hindi ako makagalaw. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

After 10 minutes, dumating si Chelsea at Miks. "Hope, ano? Kumusta? Nasaan na si Enzo?" tanong ni Chelsea.

Umiling na lang ako.

Habang naghihintay, naalala ko ang sulat na ibinigay sa akin ni Enzo galing kay Eula. Kinuha ko iyon sa bag ko at sinimulang basahin.

Dearest Hope,

I don't know how to start with this letter. There are so many things I want to say, but first, let me apologize. I'm sorry. I know you hate me because of Enzo. If I were you, I will totally hate myself, too. But, while reading this letter, please have an open mind. Please do. I have a reason.

You see, I'm dying.

Maybe by the time you're reading this, I'm already gone. So this is my final goodbye to you, Hope. I'm sorry I could not personally apologize.

Enzo didn't leave you because he loves me. He loves you. Trust me, I know. And so, I'll explain everything in this letter. I'll explain everything because it feels like I owe you and Enzo the biggest and sincerest apology. It was because of me that the two of you broke up, and I feel like it's also up to me to bring you two back together. And I know I can't control any of your feelings, but I will try to change your mind. Because he needs you. The way I needed him.

You see, Enzo and I are childhood friends. When we were kids, we met at the hospital where I was diagnosed with my disease. I have ARVD, Arrythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia. It would be too weird if I explained it to you here, but the disease is about my heart. Apparently, I had a weak heart.

Enzo too, you know.

My disease was getting worse and the hospitals here in the Philippines couldn't offer the medication my heart needs, so we had to transfer to the United States for my treatment. I left Enzo. Did they say that we were ex-lovers? Maybe, maybe not. We were too young back then. I don't know if that was 'love' per se, but he was my partner. We shared almost everything... he knows everything about me the same way I knew all about him. But I left him.

After so many years, he had always been on my mind. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to explain everything... you know, before I die. I explained everything to my parents. I told them that I want to go back to the Philippines and spend my last days there. I said I was ready. I accepted that this disease doesn't have a cure. Yes, it was incurable. I only took medicines to slow it down. But I knew I was dying. I knew, and I accepted that.

I'm just worried that he couldn't.

I came back to the Philippines and he was mad. I knew he was going to be, and I was expecting it. But you, the kind-hearted you, brought us back together. We talked. He asked me how I was, and I said I was dying. He was shocked, of course. But we can't do anything about it now, can't we? Yes, it was sad. But as I've said, I've already accepted my fate. Besides, sooner or later all of us will have to go, it's just a matter of time.

The thing is, Enzo cannot accept his condition. That's why he was lonely. So lonely. He acts weird, and he only hangs out with Bryle, Mico, and Venice because he doesn't want to associate himself with other people and be attached to them. It just meant that he has to say goodbye to a lot of people, and literally, our hearts cannot afford that.