Bipolar

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I had been in the recovery clinic for 3 months. Steve had visited me everyday, so did Dustin and my mom. Robin came by a lot at the beggining but stopped coming as often. Then she just stopped coming. I was walking and running perfectly so they were going to release me in the next few days.

It's was a Thursday. School had started last Monday but my friend, Chrissy, has been giving me my class work. She came by hospital a lot. I met her at church after my mom started making me go.

Chrissy was on the cheerleading team. She was captain. She somehow got me a spot on it. She didn't tell the coach about my injury. Chrissy was perfect. She was pretty, smart, skinny, nice, hard working, everything. You either wanted to date her or be her, and I was honestly confused on which one I was.

Steve was coming to pick me up from the clinic. When I saw him come through the door I got up and ran to him as fast as I could. My leg was definitely good. He picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck while he wrapped his around my waist.

He spun me around and my feet dangled off the ground. It was perfect. He was perfect.

I saw my mom and Dustin behind him while he sat me down. Once I was back on the ground Dustin ran up to me and hugged me. He had gotten a lot taller. He was in high school now. Wow.

I put my hands around his neck and hugged him back. I couldn't put my head over his like I had down last year and the years before. He was too tall now. I put my head on his shoulder. He let go and we all walked to the car. I sat in the front seat while Steve and Dustin sat in the back. I was asking Dustin about school and asking Steve about work.

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Once we got home I went to my room with everyone close behind me. "What's wrong?" I asked my mom in a confused, high pitched voice. "Nothing" she said quickly with a smile.

I opened my door suspiciously and saw my walls were a white color and all of my decorations were very different. It was my dream room. I turned around and ran straight to my mom. "Thank you" I said while I hugged her tight. "Of course, baby" she said while we hugged. Baby. My dad. No. My mom. My moment.

I came up with a thought that I need to stop letting everything and everyone that I've lose control my life. This is me doing that. My dad told me himself. So I'm done. I'm happy. I'm finally happy. This is my dream.

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My first day back to school and Chrissy was already introducing me to everyone on the cheer squad. I sat with Chrissy and her friends at lunch. I met her boyfriend, Jason, and some other friends. Olivia was the nicest and Nessa seemed bitchy but we were friends to it's okay. I saw my brother and waved. He waved back but Nessa pulled my hand down.

"Why are you waving at those wierdos?" She asked me laughing. I wasn't gonna tell her my brother was over there. I don't know why but I really wanted this girls approval. I had never felt like that. "Oh no, I was waving at my friend. She's behind them" I said before moving my head toward Chrissy while she spoke about the game we had next week on Friday.

A boy named Patrick came up from behind us and started to talk. "Hey Chris, who's this?" He said eyeing me up and down. "I'm Izzy. You can call me Iz" I said smiling at him. He smiled back and got behind me and whispered in my ear. "See you later, Iz". I blushed but it went away as soon as I saw Nessas red face. No. My boyfriend. I love Steve.

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I stayed after school for practice. While I walked in the locker room. All of the girls were in there getting dressed. I started to change when Nessa walked up next to me. She had no shirt on. Just her shortest shorts ever and a bra.

"So, you like Patrick?" She asked me madly. "I have a boyfriend" I said to her not even looking at her. Olivia spoke from a far. "That doesn't mean anything. Cheating it a very popular thing". Before I could speak again Chrissy spoke for me. "You guys, let's go, it's time to practice". After she said that we all hurried up and ran out the locker room.

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Once I got home Dustin was in my room laying on my bed. "Hey, what's up?" I said to him while I grabbed a towel and started to walk to the bathroom. "Steve called" Dustin said causing me to turn around. "What did he say?" I asked him while running to the phone beside my bed. I dialed his number as fast as I could while Dustin explained to me that he didn't say anything. Shit. I blew him off.

Me and Steve were supposed to go out but I stayed after school for practice. I'm a terrible girlfriend.

I grabbed my keys and got in the car. I drive off and started to drive to his house. After the 15 minute drive of silence I finally pulled up to the mansion. His car wasn't there. He's at work. I pulled out of the driveway and started to drive another 20 minutes to town.

Once I got there I saw at least 5 cars outside. I parked and walked up to the door only to see Steve looking out and talking to a woman that was walking to her car with a movie in her hand. We locked eyes and he shut the door. I stopped walking for a second then kept going. I'm such a bad person. I didn't even call.

I burst through the doors of the video store to see Robin, Steve, Keith, and 4 other costumers in it. Robin looked at the door and waved. I waved back and started to walk up to Steve who was making his way to the back door. "Steve, I'm so sorry. I had cheer and I forgot about our plans and I should have called and-" before I could finish my sentence he turned around and cut me off.

"Stop" he said looking down. I stopped walking and let him speak. "It's not working. It was never going to work. Your still in high school" he started to talk and I felt my eyes water. I sucked it up and started to talk over him. "No it was just this one time, Steve. I promise" I said but he just shook his head. "It's not. I'm sorry but I need you to go" he said. I tried to protest but he stopped me. "Just go" he said.

I stared at him then turned around and left the store. As I got in my car I could feel tears rushing out of my eyes. I opened the door then started to drive. I drove as fast as I could until I got home. I sat in the driveway and just broke down. I could see Dustin at the front porch. He looked at me sadly as he watched tears fall out of my eyes from afar.

I got out of my car and locked the doors. Dustin didn't do anything but hug me and tell me it was alright. He already knew what had happened. I took a shower and tried to sleep. I debated on calling Steve but I didn't think it would help much. It was done. Really done.

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The next day I put on baggy jeans and a tight white shirt. I wore my beat up converses that I wore the night of the mall fire. There was still blood drops on them but no one ever asked why.

I felt like someone had just killed me. Again.