Twice One Shots

50. A Knock Away (Namo)

2:00 am. Nayeon had to be awake in less than five hours but here she was, standing on her apartment balcony looking out into the city.

The past three weeks had been nothing but meetings, trainings, and assessments. Day in and day out. Usually, Nayeon would be able to handle all the work.

Recently though, something had gotten harder. She couldn't quite pinpoint the exact moment she started feeling... off, but it was fairly recent.

One day she was fine and the next she wasn't. It was like a wave of stress and sadness just suddenly engulfed her.

Every single comment at work made her feel like she was going to break down into tears. Every mention of needing to tweak something or change one minuscule thing in her routine made her feel like it was the end of the world.

Nayeon stood out on her balcony, leaning against the railing, looking out at the city. It was oddly quiet for a Thursday. Even though it was early in the morning, people were always out. Seoul was never too quiet.

Maybe that's why she couldn't sleep. Nayeon was used to a siren in the distance or a faint honk from an impatient driver. The laughter of college students enjoying their new freedom. The dull roar of a party just a few floors down.

She shifted her weight from left to right a few times, unable to find a comfortable position to stare and let her thoughts get the best of her.

It was now 2:30 am. She didn't feel tired but she knew she'd regret staying up so late. She knew work would be physically and mentally demanding but she couldn't go to bed. She couldn't just lay there and stare up at the ceiling again for the nth night in a row until her alarm went off.

Nayeon ran a hand through her slightly windswept hair and let out a long sigh. Her eyes were tired and her body was sore but her brain wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop thinking about every little thing in her life. The good and the bad. All the comments she'd gotten at work about how well and how poorly she was doing.

It felt like she was doing too much and not enough all at once. All she wanted was to find a balance again. She just wanted to stop thinking for a few seconds. She just wanted-

"Unnie? Why are you awake? It's almost three in the morning."

Nayeon jumped a little, startled by the soft voice calling her from inside the apartment. She turned around to see a half asleep Momo, slightly shivering in her sky blue silky pajamas and slippers.

"Just couldn't sleep. Needed to get some fresh air. Go back to bed. I'll be in soon." Nayeon let out a small laugh to try and ease her roommate's mind but Momo could see through her clear as day.

Even in her half conscious state, Momo knew Nayeon like the back of her hand.

They met in sixth grade. Momo barely knew any Korean and Nayeon was her seat mate. They got along quickly and have stuck with each other ever since. Through middle school, high school, college, and now the first few years of their adult lives, they've been attached at the hip.

Momo sleepily shuffled out onto the balcony, closing the door behind her to keep the heat in the apartment. She stood by Nayeon and laid her head against the older girl's shoulder, letting out a small yawn.

"You should go back to bed, Momo. You've got work in a few hours." Nayeon sighed and rested her head on top of Momo's, eyes still glued to the bright city lights below.

Momo just yawned again and shook her head. "You have work too."

It was quiet for a few minutes. Nayeon didn't know what to say. She knew that she could just simply tell Momo if she wasn't feeling well and what was going on in her head, but she didn't know what to say. She didn't even know what was wrong.